Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

I read this book simply because it kept coming up on "must read" lists and it is top-rated. I had actually never heard of Michelle Zauner, Japanese Breakfast, or of Michelle's viral New Yorker essay. So, pretty much went into this blind. It's the first memoir I have read where I didn't know anything about the person! Michelle is a wonderful writer and she comes across as straightforward and honest. The book is really focused on her relationship with her mother, who was Korean. Michelle is the product of a Korean mother and an American father. Her parent's relationship was very interesting in and of itself. Her father, a former addict (possibly current?) and a somewhat functioning alcoholic, who cheated on his wife, drives drunk, and yet still managed to support his wife and daughter financially, felt the loss of his wife to cancer quite deeply. There are some relationships that are difficult to understand. This is one of them. Michelle's mother had an abortion simply because it would have been too much to bring two children to Korea each year instead of just one child. Michelle and her mother would spend months in Korea each year while her father would stay home and work.

Michelle seemed to be a wild child (much like her father) and batted heads with her very Korean mother. She didn't have an interest in learning Korean as a child and seemed to reject the half of herself that was Korean. She was considered beautiful in Korea because she was born with a smaller face (presumably her American fathers' genes.) Note: she is pretty in America too! I looked her up online. :) Michelle fought against her mother's dreams for her. She wanted to be a musician and she was in a band for several years that didn't go anywhere. She pretty much forced her husband, Peter, to marry her - and that was after she had to strongly encourage Peter to actually date her. She's a woman who knows what she wants and goes after it.

After her mother was diagnosed with cancer in her 50s, Michelle's life changed. Michelle's aunt had already died too young from cancer, and now her mother was battling the same illness. Michelle started regretting her previous lack of interest in her Korean culture: the language, the food, the practices. Michelle talks about specific Korean dishes a lot in this book. In her mind, it connects to her mother. She learns how to cook her mother's favorite Korean dishes with the assistance of the Korean women (family) who help take care of her mother during her illness. Michelle connects to her mother in a deeply personal way when she realizes she's going to lose her. She connects to her Korean heritage. Ironically, after her mother's death, and after moving to New York to get a "real job" and giving up on her dream of being a musician, she becomes noticed as the artist that she is. She is a musician and an author. Her mother would have been very, very proud.

Wendy's Rating: ****