You With the Sad Eyes by Christina Applegate

I know I shouldn't be shocked about how many artists/actors/musicians come from trauma-filled childhoods anymore, but it almost seems like the bigger the star, the bigger the trauma they have experienced in their life. It's crazy. Christina Applegate, who started her acting career earlier than most, was already being sexually abused by the age of 5. Her father abandoned her and her mother; her mother's significant other, who lived with Christina and her mother, introduced Christina's mother to heroin, which quickly became an addiction. Once addicted, Christina was pretty much left in the care of other drug-users/addicts. Her mother eventually kicked her habit (which is actually quite remarkable since she did it on her own), but the early childhood trauma had already made a significant impact on Christina and her life choices.

One thing Christina says early in this book is that research has shown that people who develop MS often have a trauma history. Basically, that MS can be brought on by trauma. I had never heard that before, but I have wondered why so many artists seem to suffer from a variety of debilitating illnesses. Maybe there is something to that. In Christina's case, she certainly hasn't had it easy. She was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer - which resulted in a double mastectomy - years before her MS diagnosis in her 50s. Now she lives with daily debilitating pain and has lost her ability to do two things she loves: dance and act.

Not having a role model in her life representing a "healthy relationship", Christina made some really awful choices in men. She was involved in an abusive relationship (name unknown, but she tended to go for musicians) for years. She just kept going back. She explains how difficult it is to get out of these type of relationships when you have low self-worth, in addition to feeling like you can help other people. Like many in the acting world, she experiences body dysmorphia and was anorexic. I am always amazed that people with so many issues, whether it's addiction, depression, dysmorphia, low self-esteem, bi-polar disorder, or any other number of issues, can consistently show up at their acting jobs every day, work 14-16 hour days, and portray their on-screen characters in such a way that the viewer has no idea what they are going through in the real life. It's pretty remarkable. It makes me wonder how far they would have gone without the traumatic childhoods. 

Christina is open and honest about her life now - and she calls herself to the carpet for interviews she did when she wasn't honest about how she was really feeling as she was going through her breast cancer and first diagnosed with MS. She is a fighter for sure.

Wendy's Rating: ****

The Searcher by Tana French

It's been many years since I have read a Tana French novel. Apparently, I have been missing out. I really enjoyed this book and I love the writing style. The Searcher is book one of a series of three. Cal Hooper is a retired Chicago cop who moves to a small Irish village to escape from life. He leaves behind an ex-wife and an adult daughter. We don't really find out too much in this book about what he is escaping from, except we know his divorce was not particularly amicable. He also seems to have a fairly strained relationship with his daughter, who he calls faithfully once a week, but doesn't always reach her. He buys a rundown "cottage" in Ireland, which needs a lot of work. It doesn't take long for word to spread in this small village that he is a retired cop.

One day a young teenager (13 years old) arrives on his doorstep and pretty much begs Cal to find their missing brother. Cal doesn't want to initially. After all, he is retired. But the teenager, Trey Reddy, is highly persuasive. Cal develops almost a father/child relationship with Trey, teaching Trey to fire a weapon, hunt rabbits for dinner, fish for dinner, and refurbish furniture in his house. The problem with Cal tracking down Trey's brother is that no one else in town wants him to. Pretty soon sheep are getting brutally murdered in the fields; Trey is beaten up; Cal is savagely beaten by three unknown men, who only stopped when Trey tried to shoot them with Cal's rifle; and a woman in town, Lena, is having to stay at Cal's house with Trey to assist with all the injuries. The men in the village are big into "sending messages" through brute force. Some of these messages were a bit obscure to me, but fortunately Cal explains them to the reader by musing to himself about the messages sent! Ha!

Most of the characters in this book are rough around the edges, to put it lightly. Even the people that are outwardly friendly (like Cal's neighbor) have an undercurrent of hostility about them. It would be difficult to know who to trust - or simply who to take at face value - in this village. Cal learns a lot about the villagers as he continues to search for Trey's brother. During his search, he uncovers the element of crime running through the village. I found myself engaged in the story and I really like Tana French's story-telling techniques, especially the humor. I will definitely be finishing this series.

Wendy's Rating: ****

Part of Your World by Abby Jimenez

I'm not generally a fan of the romance genre - and I really hate the covers of most romance novels - but I decided to read an Abby Jimenez book to see what the hoopla was about. I have to admit, I quite liked this book. The writing style was fluid and the conversations didn't make me roll my eyes. The challenges keeping the two main characters, Alexis and Daniel, apart were realistic. Alexis was 10 years older than Daniel, wealthy, a doctor amongst a family of surgeons with a medical legacy to uphold, a brother who jumped ship to another country to marry the woman he loved because their parents would never accept her, and a home/family hospital located two hours from where Daniel lived. Daniel was a carpenter living in a rustic, small town home while running a Bed & Breakfast during the summer season in his family home that he couldn't afford to buy. His mother owned it, who he grew up thinking was his sister. She was not responsible and seemed to have no motherly feelings for Daniel. She was certainly not sensitive to his needs. So both Alexis and Daniel were pretty much tied to their ancestral homes/legacy.

Alexis knows that her parents would never accept Daniel in her life, so she sees him secretly. Her bother was disinherited when his dad found out he married a pop star. No one knows about Daniel except her best friend. All the rest of her "friends" were superficial at best, which Alexis quickly discovers the first time they unexpectantly meet Daniel. They were positively horrible to him because of his "lower status" in life. What I really liked about this book is how much Alexis grows as a person. She sees how shallow her life has been, following in his parent's footsteps in the medical field simply because it was expected of her; dating an emotionally abusive man for seven years because her parents loved him; living in a mansion and not valuing the smaller things in life; buying a $4,000 dress "just because" and wearing $2,000 sandals to a funeral "just because".  Although she wanted to do something more meaningful in her life, she didn't have the strength to go against her parents. Another thing I loved about the book is Daniel and all the people who lived in his small town. They were like one big family. Very heartwarming.

Alexis finally sees herself in her mother, who never goes against her husband in anything, even to support her children. Her relationship with her long-term surgeon boyfriend is exactly like her mom's relationship with her dad. They both just went along to go along because it was too difficult to fight against it. Alexis decides to break free from this cycle of emotional abuse. The ending of the book is extremely satisfying and I really enjoyed the read.

Wendy's Rating: ****

The Push by Ashley Audrain

This is a fast-paced book and very engaging. Sometimes when I read a book where the main character engages in questionable actions, it's difficult for me not to dislike them or judge them. The main character in this novel is Blythe. As I was reading this, I found Blythe to be a reliable narrator, even if no one else believed what she was saying. Blythe, who is a writer, writes the words in this book for her husband, to share her side of the story.

She meets her (future) husband, Fox, when they are in college and they become a couple almost immediately. They love each other deeply and they both want children. Their first baby is a girl and they name her Violet. Unfortunately, Blythe doesn't connect with Violet in a maternal way. She senses that Violet feels the same way about her. So instead of trying to comfort Violet when she cries after waking up from her nap each day, she lets her cry so she can continue her writing. One day her husband comes home unexpectantly and discovers what Blythe is doing with their daughter. This, of course, is extremely upsetting to him and Blythe promises to do better. To try harder.

We also get to know the type of family that Blythe comes from. There are chapters written about her grandmother, Etta, who was abusive to her daughter, Cecilia, and who hung herself in their front yard one day. There are other chapters about Cecilia, Blythe's mother, who left Blythe and her husband (Blythe's father) when Blythe was 11 years old to live with another man. Blythe only saw her two more times in her life. This is not a loving family. Blythe wants to be different and she tries really hard. Meanwhile, Fox comes from a wonderful family. Fox' mother seems to understand Blythe, and Violet, and their contentious relationship, better than anyone else. She approaches everyone from a feeling of compassionate love.

Blythe suspects that Violet does mean, harmful things to other people, including other children, at a very young age. Fox believes that the problem is Blythe and her "lack of love" for Violet. Blythe manages to convince Fox to have another child and this time it's a boy. They name him Sam. Blythe connects with Sam instantly and becomes a completely different mother with him. This cements Blythe's belief that the problem is Violet and not herself, and it cements Fox' belief that the problem is Blythe and her lack of affection for Violet and not Violet herself.

Then, when Sam is one year old, he dies in a horrible accident. Sam's death pushes everyone to their breaking point. Blythe is destroyed emotionally and believes that Violet killed him. Fox leaves Blythe for another woman. They get shared custody of Violet. So, is Violet a child with psychopathic tendencies? Or is Violet's destructive, harmful actions simply in Violet's head because of her own trauma history? Truly an engaging read!

Wendy's Rating: ****

Assistant to the Villain by Hannah Nicole Maehrer

I decided to read this series because so many people said they liked it. This is not the series for me however, and I will not be finishing it! I could hardly get through the first 100 pages, but I like to give each book a fair shot. It takes time to build characters, relationships and a story line. Eventually I became mildly interested in Tristan and Evie's relationship, and there is an interesting twist in the story at the end that I wasn't expecting, but other than that, there is not enough to hold my interest.

I am not a huge fantasy reader, although I do love some series (like Harry Potter and Fourth Wing). I have no problem with young adult stories - or stories where the main characters are teenagers. The interactions between the characters in this book were over-the-top ridiculous though, in my opinion. When I find myself making continuous eye-rolling movements while reading, I know there is a problem.

Tristan is "the Villain". He sweeps through the town killing people who work for the King and tries to take the King's supplies. He encounters Evie one day, who has just lost her job. She is supporting her younger sister and ill father on her own since her brother died in a mysterious magical accident (caused by their mother) and her mother is gone. So, she desperately needs a new job. The Villain offers her one and she takes it. She works for the Villain each day and returns home each evening to care for her family. That's about it folks! There is your summary. Again, not for me.

Wendy's Rating: **

Typewriter Beach by Meg Waite Clayton

I'm not really sure if this is a fiction novel or a historical fiction novel. There are certainly real people named in it, and historical events, but when I googled Leon Chazan, the only thing that consistently comes up is a summary of this book! I was confused in the beginning about who everyone was and what was actually happening, to be honest. I understand that the author was "unfolding" the details in her own timeline, but I was initially lost and it took me awhile to get into the story. 

There are two time periods: 1957 and 2018. In 1957, a young actress, Isabella Giori, is sent to a cottage in Carmel-by-the-Sea. She was placed there by a Hollywood "fixer".  She wants to be the next star in an Alfred Hitchcock movie and her chances seem promising. She met with Hitchcock and his wife and they seemed to like her. But we don't really know why she is at the cottage instead of in Hollywood. Meanwhile, her next-door neighbor is "Leo", who spends his days and nights typing, which bothers Isabella because of the noise of his typing. The reader finds out he is a blacklisted screenwriter who continues to work under the radar. This is the era of McCarthyism. Although I understand what happened in Hollywood during this time, I was confused about people being sent away to secret locations (like Leo) and then either naming people who were communists or refusing to, which meant they were blacklisted. Leo refused to name anyone, so he was blacklisted, and he was living in his Carmel cottage. Since the "fixer" has set Isabella in a cottage and she has a "secret meeting" scheduled, Leo infers that she is in the same boat as he was.

Meanwhile, in 2018, Gemma Chazan, Leo's granddaughter is also a screenwriter. She comes to Carmel because Leo has died and she needs to sell his cottage. Gemma's mother died earlier and she never knew her father or grandmother. Now with Leo gone, she doesn't have any family left. She meets Isabella, and also Sam, who is staying at the cottage that Isabella once stayed in. Sam develops video games and his business partner is Mads (a female). He is staying in the cottage while working on his latest game. To add to the list of characters, there was a poet (Jeffers) who lived in Hawk Tower at Tor House in 1957 that is now deceased. His presence and/or poetry has influenced everyone else in the story.

After I figured out what was going on, and who everyone was, I quite enjoyed the unraveling of this story. There are secrets and relationships past and present that are unveiled to the reader, if not all the characters. It was a satisfying ending.

Wendy's Rating: ****

Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey

This is a combination memoir/positive affirmations book. I listened to this on audiobook and Matthew talks exactly how I would expect him to. He is a free spirit and rolls with the punches in life. He comes across as open, honest, assertive, and full of life. I have a new admiration for his wife. Ha! He can also be incredibly funny. There were a few times that I literally laughed out loud as he was sharing some of his stories.

Matthew initially thought he wanted to be an attorney. He came to acting later than a lot of people do, switching his college major from law to film. Once he started taking film classes, he ventured into acting. I was actually surprised to learn that he had a small role in Dazed and Confused and then managed to talk his way into the starring role in A Time to Kill, which was originally meant for Woody Harrelson. It's rare that a relatively unknown actor with few roles under his belt (most of them very minor) could finagle his way into a starring role - but that's exactly what he managed to do. Of course the success of this film skyrocketed Matthew to stardom.

Matthew's childhood was very interesting. You can honestly say that his parents were "spirited" people. They married each other three times and divorced each other twice. Matthew's father believed in making men of his sons, which involved physical aggression. It wouldn't be a parenting method that would work today, but it's how Matthew was raised. I would guess he didn't carry that over for raising his own children though!

Matthew spends a lot of time talking about his journey through life; his adventures to other parts of the world; his spirituality; his determination to make a "pivot" in his life when he decides he wants to do something else. He definitely has a "can do" mentality. Nothing stops him from doing what he thinks is best for him and his family. The book is filled with "Bumper Sticker slogans" and "Greenlights", which he sees as signs to move forward. Very entertaining.

Wendy's Rating: ****