A Hymn to Life by Gisele Pelicot

The book is astounding in how disturbing it is. Gisele Pelicot is shockingly honest and bold when she talks about her upbringing and her life/marriage with her husband of 50 years, Dominique. I had heard about her court case of course, since it made the world news, but her personal narrative makes her final statement all the more powerful.

Gisele's wonderful, kind mother died young. Her father, who was also very supportive and kind, remarried a woman who was anything but. It definitely makes me wonder who Gisele would have been had her mother not died, or if her father had not remarried, or if he had remarried someone as kind as him. It would have changed the trajectory of her life - and her sights would not have fallen to Dominique.

Dominique had an awful childhood full of abuse: sexual (including the idea that incest was "normal"), physical, and emotional. When Gisele & Dominique meet each other and connect on a deeply personal level, she feels like the connection between them will allow them to escape their horrible pasts. And maybe they did for awhile. Dominique certainly must have loved his family (Gisele and their three children and eventually grandchildren) enough for them all to feel his love of them so deeply. No one who grows up in a loving household with two attentive parents would ever think of something so degrading and horrible as Dominique's depraved actions bubbling up beneath the surface. In hindsight of course, Gisele had signs along the way that Dominique's sexual preferences were changing. But nothing prepared her for the true horror of her life.

Gisele was deeply worried about her own health for a number of years, and that seemed to be her focus. She was experiencing blackouts, memory loss, dental issues, and other health issues. She thought she was dying at times, but no doctor she visited could identify what was going on with her. Why would she ever think that her husband of 40-50 years would be drugging her, and for what purpose? When she gets that life shattering phone call from the police department - the one that tears apart her life and the life of her adult children - she is stunned. The man she loved so deeply; the man that she shared her life with for 50 years; was a deeply disturbed sexual predator, rapist, and suspected murderer. Dominique had been drugging her for over 10 years so that her lifeless body could be raped repeatedly over 200 times by Dominique himself and the strange men that he brought into their home.

Gisele has to process her happy memories with Dominique and see how they fit into the monster she finds out that he is. Her emotional evolution is remarkable. In the four years since that original phone call, she becomes a strong, brave advocate for women against sexual violence. She forces herself to look at the photos and videos of her being raped vaginally and orally and being brutally sodomized; she sits in court every day during her four month trial and listens to over 50 rapists try to "prove" that she was a willing participant; she fights back against the idea that she "knew" what was happening to her; she fights for her daughter's sanity (who believes that she was also raped by her father when pictures turn up of her sleeping soundly in her bed, although he adamantly denied that he did anything to his children & grandchildren). The depravity of some human beings sickens me to no end.

I hope Gisele finds her happy ending. She deserves it.

Wendy's Rating: ****

The Most Fun We Ever Had by Claire Lombardo

This is a debut novel about a family living in the Chicago area. David & Marilyn Sorenson have four adult daughters: Wendy, Violet, Liza, and Grace. The writing style is very fluid and it was an easy read. I was also invested in each of the characters to some degree, but I certainly didn't like some of them at times. What I love about character novels, however, is seeing the growth in each character as the story unfolds.

David & Marilyn have one of these amazing marriages based on unconditional love and affection. They have their problems over the years for sure, but they really don't believe that anything is more important than their relationship. They are very demonstrative in their affection for each other, which I think is sweet. Their daughters seem to always view it as a negative thing however. There is an underlying vibe throughout the book that these family members perceive each other with a slant toward the negative. This really bothered me and it's the reason I'm giving it 4 stars (for the writing style and character development) rather than 5 stars. I don't mind reading about beautifully flawed people, but I hated how they were always undercutting each other - and they were really hard on Marilyn. Even the title of the book refers to a comment made in jest by David & Marilyn about raising their daughters ("The most fun we ever had.") Of course when all is said and done, and their daughters are adults and finally finding their own way despite their individual hardships, David says the same phrase to Marilyn and means it. So, there's that.

Wendy is the oldest daughter and marries an extremely wealthy man who ends up dying way too young. Their only child is born sleeping. So, she has to deal with a lot. I don't think her sisters give her enough grace as she grieves for her lost "life". She's not exactly warm and fuzzy though. Violet is her "Irish twin" and while they were close as children, they aren't as adults. It's pretty sad. They seem to be jealous of each other and certainly find ways to sabotage their sisterhood. Violet got pregnant as a teenager and Wendy took her in so she could have the baby and put it up for adoption without their parents even knowing about it. (Why?) But then Wendy tracks the child (now a 15 year old teenager named Jonah) and brings him into their lives, which throws Violet, her husband and young children into a tailspin. (Why?) Liza's boyfriend suffers from severe depression, which she just seems to suffer through. Then she finds out she's pregnant and suddenly has an affair, which her boyfriend finds out about and leaves her. (Ok?) Finally there is Grace, the "baby" of the family, who is pretending to be attending school but is really failing out of life.

I can't pretend to know what it's like to have even one sister, so maybe sisters can really be like this to each other. I hope not though. In the end, each character has grown and apparently decided that telling the truth isn't as bad as it once seemed to them. And all of them accept Jonah into their midst. All's well that ends well.

Wendy's Rating: ****

You With the Sad Eyes by Christina Applegate

I know I shouldn't be shocked about how many artists/actors/musicians come from trauma-filled childhoods anymore, but it almost seems like the bigger the star, the bigger the trauma they have experienced in their life. It's crazy. Christina Applegate, who started her acting career earlier than most, was already being sexually abused by the age of 5. Her father abandoned her and her mother; her mother's significant other, who lived with Christina and her mother, introduced Christina's mother to heroin, which quickly became an addiction. Once addicted, Christina was pretty much left in the care of other drug-users/addicts. Her mother eventually kicked her habit (which is actually quite remarkable since she did it on her own), but the early childhood trauma had already made a significant impact on Christina and her life choices.

One thing Christina says early in this book is that research has shown that people who develop MS often have a trauma history. Basically, that MS can be brought on by trauma. I had never heard that before, but I have wondered why so many artists seem to suffer from a variety of debilitating illnesses. Maybe there is something to that. In Christina's case, she certainly hasn't had it easy. She was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer - which resulted in a double mastectomy - years before her MS diagnosis in her 50s. Now she lives with daily debilitating pain and has lost her ability to do two things she loves: dance and act.

Not having a role model in her life representing a "healthy relationship", Christina made some really awful choices in men. She was involved in an abusive relationship (name unknown, but she tended to go for musicians) for years. She just kept going back. She explains how difficult it is to get out of these type of relationships when you have low self-worth, in addition to feeling like you can help other people. Like many in the acting world, she experiences body dysmorphia and was anorexic. I am always amazed that people with so many issues, whether it's addiction, depression, dysmorphia, low self-esteem, bi-polar disorder, or any other number of issues, can consistently show up at their acting jobs every day, work 14-16 hour days, and portray their on-screen characters in such a way that the viewer has no idea what they are going through in the real life. It's pretty remarkable. It makes me wonder how far they would have gone without the traumatic childhoods. 

Christina is open and honest about her life now - and she calls herself to the carpet for interviews she did when she wasn't honest about how she was really feeling as she was going through her breast cancer and first diagnosed with MS. She is a fighter for sure.

Wendy's Rating: ****

The Searcher by Tana French

It's been many years since I have read a Tana French novel. Apparently, I have been missing out. I really enjoyed this book and I love the writing style. The Searcher is book one of a series of three. Cal Hooper is a retired Chicago cop who moves to a small Irish village to escape from life. He leaves behind an ex-wife and an adult daughter. We don't really find out too much in this book about what he is escaping from, except we know his divorce was not particularly amicable. He also seems to have a fairly strained relationship with his daughter, who he calls faithfully once a week, but doesn't always reach her. He buys a rundown "cottage" in Ireland, which needs a lot of work. It doesn't take long for word to spread in this small village that he is a retired cop.

One day a young teenager (13 years old) arrives on his doorstep and pretty much begs Cal to find their missing brother. Cal doesn't want to initially. After all, he is retired. But the teenager, Trey Reddy, is highly persuasive. Cal develops almost a father/child relationship with Trey, teaching Trey to fire a weapon, hunt rabbits for dinner, fish for dinner, and refurbish furniture in his house. The problem with Cal tracking down Trey's brother is that no one else in town wants him to. Pretty soon sheep are getting brutally murdered in the fields; Trey is beaten up; Cal is savagely beaten by three unknown men, who only stopped when Trey tried to shoot them with Cal's rifle; and a woman in town, Lena, is having to stay at Cal's house with Trey to assist with all the injuries. The men in the village are big into "sending messages" through brute force. Some of these messages were a bit obscure to me, but fortunately Cal explains them to the reader by musing to himself about the messages sent! Ha!

Most of the characters in this book are rough around the edges, to put it lightly. Even the people that are outwardly friendly (like Cal's neighbor) have an undercurrent of hostility about them. It would be difficult to know who to trust - or simply who to take at face value - in this village. Cal learns a lot about the villagers as he continues to search for Trey's brother. During his search, he uncovers the element of crime running through the village. I found myself engaged in the story and I really like Tana French's story-telling techniques, especially the humor. I will definitely be finishing this series.

Wendy's Rating: ****

Part of Your World by Abby Jimenez

I'm not generally a fan of the romance genre - and I really hate the covers of most romance novels - but I decided to read an Abby Jimenez book to see what the hoopla was about. I have to admit, I quite liked this book. The writing style was fluid and the conversations didn't make me roll my eyes. The challenges keeping the two main characters, Alexis and Daniel, apart were realistic. Alexis was 10 years older than Daniel, wealthy, a doctor amongst a family of surgeons with a medical legacy to uphold, a brother who jumped ship to another country to marry the woman he loved because their parents would never accept her, and a home/family hospital located two hours from where Daniel lived. Daniel was a carpenter living in a rustic, small town home while running a Bed & Breakfast during the summer season in his family home that he couldn't afford to buy. His mother owned it, who he grew up thinking was his sister. She was not responsible and seemed to have no motherly feelings for Daniel. She was certainly not sensitive to his needs. So both Alexis and Daniel were pretty much tied to their ancestral homes/legacy.

Alexis knows that her parents would never accept Daniel in her life, so she sees him secretly. Her bother was disinherited when his dad found out he married a pop star. No one knows about Daniel except her best friend. All the rest of her "friends" were superficial at best, which Alexis quickly discovers the first time they unexpectantly meet Daniel. They were positively horrible to him because of his "lower status" in life. What I really liked about this book is how much Alexis grows as a person. She sees how shallow her life has been, following in his parent's footsteps in the medical field simply because it was expected of her; dating an emotionally abusive man for seven years because her parents loved him; living in a mansion and not valuing the smaller things in life; buying a $4,000 dress "just because" and wearing $2,000 sandals to a funeral "just because".  Although she wanted to do something more meaningful in her life, she didn't have the strength to go against her parents. Another thing I loved about the book is Daniel and all the people who lived in his small town. They were like one big family. Very heartwarming.

Alexis finally sees herself in her mother, who never goes against her husband in anything, even to support her children. Her relationship with her long-term surgeon boyfriend is exactly like her mom's relationship with her dad. They both just went along to go along because it was too difficult to fight against it. Alexis decides to break free from this cycle of emotional abuse. The ending of the book is extremely satisfying and I really enjoyed the read.

Wendy's Rating: ****

The Push by Ashley Audrain

This is a fast-paced book and very engaging. Sometimes when I read a book where the main character engages in questionable actions, it's difficult for me not to dislike them or judge them. The main character in this novel is Blythe. As I was reading this, I found Blythe to be a reliable narrator, even if no one else believed what she was saying. Blythe, who is a writer, writes the words in this book for her husband, to share her side of the story.

She meets her (future) husband, Fox, when they are in college and they become a couple almost immediately. They love each other deeply and they both want children. Their first baby is a girl and they name her Violet. Unfortunately, Blythe doesn't connect with Violet in a maternal way. She senses that Violet feels the same way about her. So instead of trying to comfort Violet when she cries after waking up from her nap each day, she lets her cry so she can continue her writing. One day her husband comes home unexpectantly and discovers what Blythe is doing with their daughter. This, of course, is extremely upsetting to him and Blythe promises to do better. To try harder.

We also get to know the type of family that Blythe comes from. There are chapters written about her grandmother, Etta, who was abusive to her daughter, Cecilia, and who hung herself in their front yard one day. There are other chapters about Cecilia, Blythe's mother, who left Blythe and her husband (Blythe's father) when Blythe was 11 years old to live with another man. Blythe only saw her two more times in her life. This is not a loving family. Blythe wants to be different and she tries really hard. Meanwhile, Fox comes from a wonderful family. Fox' mother seems to understand Blythe, and Violet, and their contentious relationship, better than anyone else. She approaches everyone from a feeling of compassionate love.

Blythe suspects that Violet does mean, harmful things to other people, including other children, at a very young age. Fox believes that the problem is Blythe and her "lack of love" for Violet. Blythe manages to convince Fox to have another child and this time it's a boy. They name him Sam. Blythe connects with Sam instantly and becomes a completely different mother with him. This cements Blythe's belief that the problem is Violet and not herself, and it cements Fox' belief that the problem is Blythe and her lack of affection for Violet and not Violet herself.

Then, when Sam is one year old, he dies in a horrible accident. Sam's death pushes everyone to their breaking point. Blythe is destroyed emotionally and believes that Violet killed him. Fox leaves Blythe for another woman. They get shared custody of Violet. So, is Violet a child with psychopathic tendencies? Or is Violet's destructive, harmful actions simply in Violet's head because of her own trauma history? Truly an engaging read!

Wendy's Rating: ****

Assistant to the Villain by Hannah Nicole Maehrer

I decided to read this series because so many people said they liked it. This is not the series for me however, and I will not be finishing it! I could hardly get through the first 100 pages, but I like to give each book a fair shot. It takes time to build characters, relationships and a story line. Eventually I became mildly interested in Tristan and Evie's relationship, and there is an interesting twist in the story at the end that I wasn't expecting, but other than that, there is not enough to hold my interest.

I am not a huge fantasy reader, although I do love some series (like Harry Potter and Fourth Wing). I have no problem with young adult stories - or stories where the main characters are teenagers. The interactions between the characters in this book were over-the-top ridiculous though, in my opinion. When I find myself making continuous eye-rolling movements while reading, I know there is a problem.

Tristan is "the Villain". He sweeps through the town killing people who work for the King and tries to take the King's supplies. He encounters Evie one day, who has just lost her job. She is supporting her younger sister and ill father on her own since her brother died in a mysterious magical accident (caused by their mother) and her mother is gone. So, she desperately needs a new job. The Villain offers her one and she takes it. She works for the Villain each day and returns home each evening to care for her family. That's about it folks! There is your summary. Again, not for me.

Wendy's Rating: **