My Name is Barbra by Barbra Streisand - Part 1

Wow! I am listening to this on audiobook and it's whopping 48 hours long! Most memoirs are 6-10 hours long. So this is an investment of time. I got to 60% and then "Libby" took it back. It wouldn't let me renew because of the waiting list, so I put it back on hold and now I have to wait another 22 weeks until I can get it back! I decided I should write about the first 60% so I don't forget what I want to say about it. First of all, I love Barbra Streisand and I always have, ever since I first watched What's Up Doc back in the 1970s when I was a young teen. Then when I was introduced to her music from Funny Girl (1968), I fell in love with her voice. She has always been my favorite artist because of her immense talent (singing, acting, directing), but after listening to her memoir about her childhood and rise to stardom; her innate sense of artistry; her ability to sketch scenes the way she sees them in her head; her ability to improv a conversation so that it matches the emotions of the scene; her ability to "see" and "feel" the character she is portraying; is phenomenal. She is so detail-oriented that she knows what lighting she wants for each scene of a movie. She likes to do as few takes as possible so that a scene is the most authentic that it can be (vs. coming across as over-rehearsed). 

The first 60% of this book details how she got her start when she was a teenager living in Brooklyn, NY. Her dad died tragically when she was young, so she lived with her unsupportive, negative mother and a jerk of a step-father (part of that time). She wanted to be famous for her acting. Her voice was an afterthought. She got her first gig singing at a night club however, and it's that voice that propelled her to stardom. She was cast in Funny Girl as an "unknown" and the rest, as they say, is history. This part of the book details her experiences in Funny Girl on Broadway and in London, and also the making of the movie (very detailed); Hello Dolly (detailed); On a Clear Day You Can See Forever (briefly); The Owl and the Pussycat (very briefly); What's Up Doc? (detailed); Up the Sandbox (very detailed); The Way We Were (very detailed); For Pete's Sake (very briefly); Funny Lady (somewhat detailed); A Star is Born (very detailed); The Main Event (detailed); All Night Long (mentioned); and Yentl (very, very detailed!) She talks about her co-stars, producers, directors, camera people, lighting people, art people, set people, musicians, lyricists, composers, and every other person associated with a production. It's absolutely fascinating. 

She is so detailed in her descriptions that I rented Funny Girl from Prime video after I listened to that detailed chapter to see what she was talking about. I studied the characters, the lighting, scenes, the clothing, etc. She insisted on singing one of the songs live while filming the movie (which was unheard of) because she wanted her emotions at the time of the filming to match the song. I watched clips of Hello Dolly, The Way We Were, and A Star is Born after reading about the production of those movies and her co-stars. I was completely blown away that Walter Matthau was her co-star in Hello Dolly! I think of him as a slob in The Odd Couple and a grumpy old man in Grumpy Old Men - not as a co-star to Barbra Streisand! (It didn't go well, by the way. He was a total jerk to her.) I was happy to read that she worked well with Omar Sharif, Ryan O'Neal and Robert Redford however. Whew!

Finally, Yentl. I loved the movie when I first saw it. Now I love it more. I have watched it twice since listening to that chapter (which brought me to 60%). She talks about wanting Richard Gere to play Avigdor but she ended up with a 29 year old Mandy Patinkin (she was 10 years older than him) as her co-star. I love Mandy Patinkin. It's been so long since I originally saw the movie in theaters (1983) that I didn't even realize that Avigdor was played by Mandy! I love his acting and I love his voice. So imagine my deep, deep disappointment when I found out that Barbra had a very difficult time with him as her co-star. He didn't want to take direction from Barbra; was hot-headed; restless; difficult. Sadness set in. So, I watched the movie a second time to study all the things she talked about. Here is my final analysis: This movie is absolutely wonderful. I love it. The way it was written, directed, filmed, edited, the music - fabulous. There is no way you could tell that the two leads didn't like each other. That's impressive acting. (Like Richard Gere and Debra Winger in An Officer and a Gentleman.)

The most wonderful thing about listening to this on audiobook: Barbra includes video clips of some of the songs she sings! I am pretty much obsessed with this book and I can't wait to finish the last 40% of it - in 22 weeks or so.

Wendy's Rating: *****

Theo of Golden by Allen Levi

I am definitely leery about reading books that everyone else "LOVES" because I have too high of expectations and then I am disappointed when I actually read the book. This is not the case with Theo of Golden. This is a beautifully written character-driven narrative.  No one knows who Theo is, or even what his last name is, but you don't need to. Theo comes to the town of Golden, Georgia from New York. He is an elderly gentleman (86) who only stays in Golden for about a year. (That's referenced a few times, but you don't know why he's there and why he leaves after a year.) Theo is a refined gentleman who values art of all types: books, paintings, architecture, music. He is a great listener, accepts everyone for who they are, and is kind & empathetic to all.

When Theo arrives in town, he locates an apartment to rent in a building owned by the town lawyer. It overlooks the town square. Theo stops in at the local coffee shop and is intrigued by all of the hand-drawn portraits displayed on all the walls (over 90 of them). The portraits are for sale (at a pretty low price so that people can afford them), and the portraits are of people who live in Golden. He discovers that they were drawn by a local artist. He is drawn to them (no pun intended!) because of the details of their faces, especially the eyes (the eyes are the windows of the soul, so to speak). He decides to start buying them and inviting the person whose portrait he buys to meet him in the square so he can "gift" them their own portrait. In the process of meeting them, he invites them into his world. He asks them questions about their lives and really builds relationships with many of the recipients from these encounters.

As the months go by, he establishes a core group of friends. They are people from all walks of life. They are different ages; have different interests; are different nationalities; one of the women he befriends (Ellen) is homeless. He is gentle, kind, supportive, non-judgmental...and incredibly secretive. The only person in town that knows anything about him is the lawyer, Mr. Ponder, since Theo retained him as an attorney when he came to town. Mr. Ponder wasn't actually taking any new clients when Theo approached him, but Theo is quite persuasive.

As the story progresses, we learn about the lives of this core group, and a little of Theo's past life (like he had a daughter who died in a car accident who he still mourns). This group starts supporting each other; sharing meals together; coming together to celebrate each other's successes; offering support during the hard times. The book simply flows. I can't describe it any better. You don't find out why Theo chose Golden - and how it all connects - until the very end. It's a heartwarming story about kindness and living a purpose-filled life. I really loved it - just like everyone else! Ha!

Wendy's Rating: *****

Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe

I have owned this book for many, many years, but had never actually read it. So it was time. Since it was published in 1719, the language used and the writing style made this a slow read. My copy of the book had 397 pages and it felt like 1397. The first half of the book went faster for me because it details Crusoe's life before the shipwreck that strands him on the deserted island, and the 28 years he spent on the island. I enjoyed reading about his ingenuity for surviving on the island. Fortunately, the ship that was wrecked - causing everyone else to die - was initially accessible to Crusoe. He was able to get supplies, tools, weapons, food, clothing, etc. off of the ship before it shifted and sank. He was able to build a crude home for protection and hunt for food. As the years went by, and with all the time in the world, he became really creative in making tools, carving canoes out of tree trunks, weaving baskets, capturing baby goats which became his own personal herd so he had food, milk, cheese and didn't have to use his dwindling ammunition to shoot animals to eat. He also grew his own crops (grain and corn), which he discovered after he emptied out a container from the ship and there happened to be some seeds at the bottom. Over time, he realized what it was and he was able to plant seasonally and taught himself how to make a sort of bread (without yeast of course.)

While there were no wild animals that preyed on him on this island, there were "savages" who came to the island in their canoes to celebrate their battle wins by eating their prisoners. Yes, they were cannibals. There were different tribes (always fighting each other) that would show up on different sides of the island. They would stay to eat their prisoners and then leave. They had no idea that Crusoe lived on the island. He didn't know about them either for a long time. He had already fortified his home(s) so they were not easily seen, but as the years went on, the area surrounding his primary home was nearly impenetrable due to the thick foliage surrounding it. Eventually he saved some escaped prisoners who stayed extremely loyal to him from then on. One was a boy he named Friday. Then there were a group of Spaniards. Then Friday's father. When he finally was given an opportunity to leave the island, he took Friday with him and left the others there to maintain the goat herd, the crops, the homes, etc. It really surprised me when the story didn't end there! But no, all this happened, described in a very detailed account, in less than half the book.

The next 200+ pages described his further travels, worldwide. The various ships he traveled on, the countries he visited, the tragic encounters, the people he met. He actually married at one point and had a couple of kids, but after his wife died, he simply left the kids (somewhere?) to resume his travels. There were long sections about religion (paganism vs. Catholicism vs. Protestantism); a long journey over land (including Siberia); death, including a massacre; pirates; revisiting his island, which was now quite populated - which was also explained in detail; endless conversations with a variety of people. On and on and on. The last 50 pages were truly a struggle to get through! I pushed through but if the book had ended at page 189, I would have given it 4 stars. The rest of the book dropped it to a 3-star read for me. To give you some indication, Crusoe originally left his father's home as a teenager and he spent 28 years on the island. The book ended (finally!) when he was 72. It was a long, eventful life, I will certainly give him that!

Wendy's Rating: ***

Spare by Prince Harry

I listened to this on audiobook, read by Prince Harry. I have a deeper understanding of Prince Harry's decision to leave Royal life after reading this. I also understand why security for his family is so important to him, beyond what happened to his mother at the hands of the paparazzi. Thirdly, the fact that the media simply makes things up for the sensationalism of it all is driven home in this book. Anything to sell their story. After finishing this book, I started My Name is Barbra and Barbra Streisand says the exact same thing as Prince Harry on this subject in her Prologue! I think there is a difference between someone whose goal was to "be a star" vs. someone like Prince Harry who was simply born into it, however.

Prince Harry has a significant trauma history that he continues to battle. Even before Princess Diana died, his father's jokes about his true paternity and Harry being the second born (the spare) were engrained deeply into his soul. On top of that, he shoved his feelings inside and just kept pressing on. After his mother died, there were people who loved him of course, but he was not shown affection like his mother had shown him. The Royal family is hardcore. No demonstrations of affection at any level. He never hugged his grandmother, Queen Elizabeth. It wasn't allowed. What a lonely existence.

Being second born, and with Prince William marrying Kate Middleton and starting a family, he continually dropped down the line of succession. He wasn't a good student (basically had no interest in the classroom), so he wasn't sure what to do with his life. He and his father decided that the Army would be best for him. He eventually learned how to fly an Apache helicopter, which is a complicated piece of aircraft. He thrived in the Army, but was called out suddenly, more than once, since he became a target for the enemy (he was in Afghanistan), putting himself and his unit in danger since there was such a high price on his head. He was not allowed to return after his second (shortened) deployment.

Harry did have two significant relationships before Meghan Markle: Chelsy Davy and Cressida Bonas. Neither were overly impressed or invested in him as a Royal, which is what Harry really loved about them. Unfortunately, the paparazzi harassed them, their friends, their family endlessly. No sane person wants to live that way, including them. When he met Meghan Markle, it was pretty much love at first sight. The paparazzi and the stories circulating in the media (some made up; some derogatory; some a result of betrayal) caused Meghan to consider suicide at one point. They really didn't have support from the Crown, who just wanted them to stay quiet and toe the line. It's incredibly sad. Prince Harry's actions and feelings since childhood are a reflection of how lost he really was.

Royal life would be a difficult life. What I want to say to all of them is this: "View the situation from a different perspective." Perspective-taking is key. Prince Harry is so focused on the lack of support shown him and his inability to get what he wanted (1/2-year Royal life in England; 1/2-year in a different country) that he loses sight of what life has been like for Prince William since birth. Prince William comes across as angry and unsupportive in this book, but his life has to be super challenging. As heir to the throne, he doesn't have a choice in anything at all. His wife doesn't either. They have to meet certain (high) standards set by the Queen/King. Harry can't seem to acknowledge that. Harry was allowed to "run free" and do all sorts of questionable things. William could never be free to do anything that would potentially hurt the image of the Royal family. I totally understand why William would be upset with Harry. On the other hand, Harry has a right to security. He has been a "target" his entire life and now with a wife and two young children to protect, his family should step up and help protect them. That's what families do. It's quite tragic. Hopefully Kate Middleton will change the Monarchy is ways that Diana was ultimately not able to. Kate can finish what Diana started.

Wendy's Rating: ****

Paris by Paris Hilton

I listened to this on Audiobook. It was read by Paris Hilton. People's personas on social media can be very different than the person behind the persona. I didn't have any particular interest in Paris Hilton before reading this, but her experiences pretty much shocked me. Paris doesn't present herself in this book any other way than what she is. She is privileged from a wealthy family. She is also a hard worker, which appears to be the case for every generation of her family. She is open and unapologetic about the challenge she was to her parents as a young teenager, who were very strict. She rebelled against that strictness in a very public way. That's the Paris Hilton I know from her antics being presented in the media. I also remember her from her show with Nicole Richie, which I never really watched, figuring it was silly.

So here is what I didn't know - and what the family didn't want anyone to know: Paris' parents sent her away for two years to Provo Canyon School in Utah, which was a "school" for troubled teens. Her parents told everyone else that she was in London. As an adult, Paris has fought to shut down Provo and other "schools" like Provo because of the intense abuse suffered by the children who have been forced to attend them. To be fair to Paris' parents, Provo was presented as something entirely different than how it was actually run. Paris begged her parents to take her out of Provo and made several attempts to escape it. She was always caught and forced to return - sometimes being turned in by her family. They simply didn't know what was going on. Paris tried to tell them, but having a "wild child" complaining about a school setting isn't likely to be believed by anyone. It's like the little boy who cried wolf once too often. Paris also grew up with undiagnosed ADHD, so that didn't help her behaviors.

With that being said, Paris was tormented and abused at Provo, along with everyone else who was there. They were taught to degrade and humiliate each other - oftentimes for several hours at a time. Trust was non-existent. There were times that Paris trusted other "students" who turned her in. There were other times that other "students" tricked her into thinking they wanted to escape too, but these were often attempts to turn the focus from themselves onto Paris, who would then be punished for it. Interestingly, Paris doesn't necessarily blame her parents for sending her to Provo since she accepts that they didn't honestly know what happened there. They believed they were doing the right thing, since she was out-of-control and they didn't want to "lose" her. She seems to definitely suffer from PTSD however, and I'm not sure her relationship with her mother will ever be 100% healthy. Her mother really doesn't seem to be comfortable talking about hard things in life. She's a "sweep it under the rug" and hope it goes away kind of person. According to her, their family needs to behave a certain way and be presented a certain way and anything less than that is unacceptable.

This memoir is well written and really demonstrates Paris' determination, intelligence, and limitless strength to push through, no matter what.

Wendy's Rating: ****

Sociopath by Patric Gagne

This was a very informational memoir. Since I work in the field of mental health, I found this first-person narrative of what it's like living with sociopathy very enlightening. I also liked learning the differences between sociopathy, psychopathy, and antisocial personality disorder. The majority of people use these three diagnoses interchangeably, which is understandable since the DSM-5 does not include sociopathy or psychopathy as standalone diagnoses.

Patric knew she was different from other kids at a very young age. She didn't experience any emotions like the people around her. She didn't feel guilty for hurting someone or doing something bad. She had no sense of remorse. This is one of the key symptoms of this diagnosis of course, but it was interesting when Patric explained that she felt something build up inside her that could only be released if she did something bad. Doing bad things allowed her to "feel" something, so that's why she did the things she did: breaking into homes, stealing things, stabbing a classmate in the neck with a pencil, and when she got older, stealing cars. Otherwise, she felt nothing.

Patric had to do a lot of her own research to understand sociopathy. She tried hard to maintain relationships with people she cared about, especially her mother, sister and her childhood friend/future husband, David. These are the people who seemed to accept her for who she was (for the most part.) Even though she may not experience "love" like the average person does, she does love people in her life. She certainly didn't want to lose them. I had a more difficult time understanding her relationship with her father. He pretty much forced her into the music industry (as a manager), but she ended up being really good at it. If you take away feelings like fear, guilt and empathy, you can be very successful in a ruthless business, which the music industry is. So, she became quite successful at it, even though she didn't necessary want to do it and eventually quit.

Patric's mission was to understand and accept herself and to live in this acceptance fully. She found herself always trying to mimic what other people did in specific situations so that she would fit in. With that being said, a lot of us do that! I did it myself for at least two decades of my life, so you don't have to be a sociopath to live in a way you think you should, rather than how you want. Honestly, I think that's human nature. I learned a lot however, and I'm glad that Patric was able to find acceptance and happiness with her husband and sons.

Wendy's Rating: ****

Code Name Helene by Ariel Lawhon

I really loved this book, maybe even more than The Frozen River. This is a historical fiction novel. Nancy Wake is Australian, but living in Paris. She is bold and fearless, and I admire her guts and determination. She doesn't let anything or anyone stop her from what she wants to do, or believes that she needs to do. Nancy is a journalist for Hearst, a job she got by bluffing her way into it. In the early 1930s, Nancy was sent by Hearst to interview Hitler, who was the German chancellor in Vienna at the time. In 1936, Nancy and her cameraman, Frank, are in Berlin and they witness a woman tied to a waterwheel being whipped again and again because she is Jewish. This is Nancy's first encounter with Obersturmfuhrer Wolff, who is known for his whip and his cruelty. I don't think Nancy hates anyone more than she hates this man/Nazi.

Also in 1936, Nancy meets Henri Fiocca, a wealthy industrialist. Her friend, Stephanie, defines Henri as, "the most notorious heartbreaker in all of France." Well, Henri sets his eyes on Nancy (and loves her laugh) and his gaze never leaves her. He is very attractive and Nancy is wary of his attention, especially because of his reputation. He wears her down however and they end up being the loves of each other's lives. Henri is an extremely supportive husband, even though he fears for Nancy's life and never knows if she will return to him after her missions for the French Resistance. Henri's father doesn't like this brash Australian at all, so they definitely don't have family support. Henri's father wants Henri to marry Marceline, a beautiful Frenchwoman who desperately wants Henri (or at least his money), but Henri is certainly not interested. A little foreshadowing: this poses a severe problem in the future.

The story alternates between time periods (between the years 1936-1944) and narrators (Nancy and Henri), and various places that Nancy and Henri find themselves. Nancy has four code names: "Madame Andree", "Lucienne Carlier", "Helene", and "The White Mouse". Nancy works with a variety of people (mostly men) and groups. In all situations she presents herself as a leader and people come to respect her as such. So, does it get confusing? Yes. It certainly does get confusing with all of the jumping around in time. On top of that, Nancy is not the only person using a code name! The reader does not always know that someone she meets in 1939 is the same person she is working with in 1944 because he is using a different name. Surprise!

I love reading books about strong women, especially when they actually existed. Nancy Wake was one exceptional woman. Well worth the read.

Wendy's Rating: *****