Sociopath by Patric Gagne

This was a very informational memoir. Since I work in the field of mental health, I found this first-person narrative of what it's like living with sociopathy very enlightening. I also liked learning the differences between sociopathy, psychopathy, and antisocial personality disorder. The majority of people use these three diagnoses interchangeably, which is understandable since the DSM-5 does not include sociopathy or psychopathy as standalone diagnoses.

Patric knew she was different from other kids at a very young age. She didn't experience any emotions like the people around her. She didn't feel guilty for hurting someone or doing something bad. She had no sense of remorse. This is one of the key symptoms of this diagnosis of course, but it was interesting when Patric explained that she felt something build up inside her that could only be released if she did something bad. Doing bad things allowed her to "feel" something, so that's why she did the things she did: breaking into homes, stealing things, stabbing a classmate in the neck with a pencil, and when she got older, stealing cars. Otherwise, she felt nothing.

Patric had to do a lot of her own research to understand sociopathy. She tried hard to maintain relationships with people she cared about, especially her mother, sister and her childhood friend/future husband, David. These are the people who seemed to accept her for who she was (for the most part.) Even though she may not experience "love" like the average person does, she does love people in her life. She certainly didn't want to lose them. I had a more difficult time understanding her relationship with her father. He pretty much forced her into the music industry (as a manager), but she ended up being really good at it. If you take away feelings like fear, guilt and empathy, you can be very successful in a ruthless business, which the music industry is. So, she became quite successful at it, even though she didn't necessary want to do it and eventually quit.

Patric's mission was to understand and accept herself and to live in this acceptance fully. She found herself always trying to mimic what other people did in specific situations so that she would fit in. With that being said, a lot of us do that! I did it myself for at least two decades of my life, so you don't have to be a sociopath to live in a way you think you should, rather than how you want. Honestly, I think that's human nature. I learned a lot however, and I'm glad that Patric was able to find acceptance and happiness with her husband and sons.

Wendy's Rating: ****

Code Name Helene by Ariel Lawhon

I really loved this book, maybe even more than The Frozen River. This is a historical fiction novel. Nancy Wake is Australian, but living in Paris. She is bold and fearless, and I admire her guts and determination. She doesn't let anything or anyone stop her from what she wants to do, or believes that she needs to do. Nancy is a journalist for Hearst, a job she got by bluffing her way into it. In the early 1930s, Nancy was sent by Hearst to interview Hitler, who was the German chancellor in Vienna at the time. In 1936, Nancy and her cameraman, Frank, are in Berlin and they witness a woman tied to a waterwheel being whipped again and again because she is Jewish. This is Nancy's first encounter with Obersturmfuhrer Wolff, who is known for his whip and his cruelty. I don't think Nancy hates anyone more than she hates this man/Nazi.

Also in 1936, Nancy meets Henri Fiocca, a wealthy industrialist. Her friend, Stephanie, defines Henri as, "the most notorious heartbreaker in all of France." Well, Henri sets his eyes on Nancy (and loves her laugh) and his gaze never leaves her. He is very attractive and Nancy is wary of his attention, especially because of his reputation. He wears her down however and they end up being the loves of each other's lives. Henri is an extremely supportive husband, even though he fears for Nancy's life and never knows if she will return to him after her missions for the French Resistance. Henri's father doesn't like this brash Australian at all, so they definitely don't have family support. Henri's father wants Henri to marry Marceline, a beautiful Frenchwoman who desperately wants Henri (or at least his money), but Henri is certainly not interested. A little foreshadowing: this poses a severe problem in the future.

The story alternates between time periods (between the years 1936-1944) and narrators (Nancy and Henri), and various places that Nancy and Henri find themselves. Nancy has four code names: "Madame Andree", "Lucienne Carlier", "Helene", and "The White Mouse". Nancy works with a variety of people (mostly men) and groups. In all situations she presents herself as a leader and people come to respect her as such. So, does it get confusing? Yes. It certainly does get confusing with all of the jumping around in time. On top of that, Nancy is not the only person using a code name! The reader does not always know that someone she meets in 1939 is the same person she is working with in 1944 because he is using a different name. Surprise!

I love reading books about strong women, especially when they actually existed. Nancy Wake was one exceptional woman. Well worth the read.

Wendy's Rating: *****

Know My Name by Chanel Miller

I listened to this on audiobook, read by the author. First of all, Chanel Miller is a really talented writer. Her writing style is very engaging. This is a memoir about her experience being sexually assaulted on the Stanford University campus one night when she attended a frat party with her younger sister. It exposes the injustices of our legal system, which always seems to rule in the favor of wealth and status. I have to hope and pray that the tide will swing the other way one day, toward justice for the victims, regardless of their financial status.

Chanel Miller was known as "Emily Doe" until 2019. Her assault happened in 2015. It seemed to be a "slam dunk" case. Two Swedish men on bicycles saw her being assaulted, while unconscious, and caught the man after he ran from the scene and they called the police. Chanel was laying on the ground behind a dumpster, naked from the waist down, one breast hanging out, unresponsive. So, there were eye witnesses, DNA, the perpetrator running from the scene, and yet it took 15 months in the court system before the assaulter, Brock Turner, was found guilty of three felony offenses. Despite all the evidence, and the conviction, Brock was only given six months in the county jail (only three months for good behavior), because his family was wealthy and he was a star swimmer with a great scholarship. By the time this case was argued in court, Brock was declaring that the sexual encounter was consensual, and all of his character witnesses gave glowing reports of what a wonderful person he was. Of course, none of them had ever hung out with him while he was drinking heavily at a frat party.

Meanwhile, they painted Chanel as a black-out drunk who was promiscuous and a party animal. She was hammered away by the defense attorney about every minute detail of the day and night. Where did she have dinner? What did she have to eat? What time? How much? Why did she go to the party? Did she want to? Who did she go with? What time? What did she drink at dinner? How much? What time? And on and on and on. It was endless. And this was when she finally got to court! There was delay after delay, which put her life on hold, as well as her sister's life, who kept having to reschedule her life because of rescheduled court appearances. 

The turning point was when Chanel was not allowed to read her entire victim impact statement in court because it was too long. She was asked if it was okay to post the statement on BuzzFeed, and she said yes, because why not? She was disillusioned and angry and discouraged. Well the victim impact statement went viral, viewed by 11 million people in four days. It resulted in changes in California law and the recall of the judge who oversaw the case. Chanel reads her entire statement at the end of her book. It's extremely well-written and obviously very powerful. Highly recommend!

Wendy's Rating: *****

Dead Wake by Erik Larson

I listened to this via audiobook. I am a fan of Erik Larson. He does thorough research on his topic (a lot of his books are set in times of war) and presents the facts in an engaging and informative way. He includes what's going on with other key people at the time of the event(s), including personal information on their relationships at the time and/or their emotional frame of mind. I think this always adds to the story and helps to create a "bigger picture" of the era.

Dead Wake is about the sinking of the Lusitania in May 1915 during WWI. It was sunk by one torpedo that was fired by a German U-boat, whose captain, Walther Schwieger, was one of the deadliest captains the Germans had at the time. Schwieger only cared about the tonnage that he could sink. The greater the tonnage of the boat, the higher the honor. Since the Lusitania was a passenger cruise liner, with 2,000 passengers and crew on board, this was definitely a new "low" by the hands of the Germans.

The Lusitania was the fastest liner in service at the time. It could travel up to 26 knots, which is much faster than a U-boat could ever move. U-boats moved around 9 knots. So even though the Lusitania was traveling through an area where U-boats were known to be present, most people, including Captain William Thomas Turner, believed that it could flee the danger of an U-boat. Yep. And..... the Titanic was considered "unsinkable".

So, the Titanic sunk in 1912 and the industry made significant changes so that this type of event would not ever happen again. The Lusitania had plenty of lifeboats and lifejackets on board - enough for every person on board. They also trained the crew to handle the two different types of lifeboats on board, including regular drills. BUT, they didn't instruct the passengers on emergency procedures; didn't assign boats/locations for the passengers to go to in an emergency; didn't even instruct the passengers how to correctly put on their lifejackets. These facts became issues that compounded the problem of course. It also hurt deeply that the crew members that were trained in how to manage the lifeboats were mostly killed by the torpedo blast, since the torpedo landed in their section of the boat.

This was a chain reaction of unfortunate timing, from beginning to end. The Lusitania left England late; the Lusitania couldn't travel as fast as it normally could because management of the Cunard Line told Captain Turner to only use three of the four funnels; since there was no sonar at the time, a deep fog had the Lusitania traveling slower during parts of the journey and it ended up over 12 miles from the coast as they approached Liverpool instead of the normal 1 mile or so; the evaporation of the fog was advantageous to the U-boats in the area since now they could see other boats in the area; Schwieger miscalculated the speed of the Lusitania and aimed the torpedo according to his calculations of the ship going faster than it actually was, so the torpedo hit a spot that actually sunk the entire ship in a matter of minutes. If he had known the ship was going only 18 knots, the torpedo would have hit a part of the ship that allowed people to use the lifeboats, etc.

The reader also learns about President Wilson's emotional state at this time (the death of his wife); how deeply Wilson felt about the USA staying out of WWI; "Room 40" which was a top secret British intelligence site that intercepted German radio transmissions; all the known movements of the German U-boats in the area and other sinkings of boats at the time that no one shared with Captain Turner. So much information.

The conspiracy theorists believe that Britain allowed the Lusitania to be torpedoed simply to get the USA involved in the war. Britain was losing the war at this point and they needed the USA to step up. I would certainly hope that is a false theory. Such a tragedy.

Wendy's Rating: *****

Keeper of the Lost Cities: Nightfall by Shannon Messenger

This is the 6th book of this series. I think I was experiencing "series fatigue" in this book. I found myself being irritated with Sophie for focusing on her human parents after they were kidnapped by the Neverseen. Why wouldn't she be focused on them? She loved them. I found myself just wanting her to move on and focus on the "big picture" problem. Very insensitive of me. Part of the problem is waiting too long to read the next book in the series. I lose track of what the key goal is in this story. I'm glad that she finally let one of the three boys that love her go though. It's difficult to not like all the guys that are interested in her, but she needed to let someone off the hook. So Dex has finally been set free. The other two, Fitz and Keefe, are both awesome and it's difficult to decide between them. I have a tendency to favor Keefe, but to be fair, the focus was on him for this book. Fitz might take a bigger role in Book 7 and then I will switch back to him.

Anyway, Sophie's human parents are taken and being held prisoners by the Neverseen at a place called Nightfall. Keefe's mother, Lady Gisela, once a part of the Neverseen and now apparently wanting to work with the Black Swan, has knowledge of Nightfall (because she designed it - as well as the monsters that guard it.) No one trusts her (for good reason), but Sophie & gang need her and the information she is willing to give them about Nightfall if they are going to find Sophie's parents. Sophie's human sister, Amy, is brought in to the Elvin world, and she is initially kept safe in Atlantis, the infamous city sunk in the ocean. Then she is moved for her protection because the Neverseen seem to know everything about Sophie and her cohorts. Another element has been introduced into the story: Soporidine. This is a drug that has been developed by the Neverseen that will induce someone to go to "sleep" indefinitely. There is an antidote, but the Neverseen are the only ones that have it. Sophie & friends & the council are definitely behind the eight ball in this installment. 

The gang finds Alden, the betrayer and Fitz & Bianna's sibling, at Nightfall. He is severely injured and in a deep sleep caused by Soporidine. They take him back with them. They are trying to develop an antidote to the Soporidine, which they will need for him to wake up and give them information about the Neverseen and where they are holding Sophie's human parents. The only thing they find at Nightfall is Alden. Then they find out that the original Nightfall is actually in Atlantis.

The elves manage to team up with King Dimitar of the ogres. He is initially hesitant, since they are known enemies, but he comes around. He sends his daughter, Princess Ro, to be Keefe's bodyguard after he is nearly mortally wounded. She is a wonderful addition to the team!

This is a good vs. evil story and it's taking some time for good to conquer evil!

Wendy's Rating: ****

Filthy Rich The Jeffrey Epstein Story by James Patterson, John Connolly with Tim Malloy

I listened to this on audiobook. I love finding out the true story, based on actual interviews, court proceedings and documentation of an investigation. This book starts in 2004-2005, when Jeffrey Epstein is using high schoolers to recruit other high schoolers to go to his home to give him a massage. He concentrates on young girls, as young as 14 years old, who are poor and vulnerable. He offers them $200 a massage; but he will give them more money if they are willing to do other things. These "massages" are mostly done with Epstein being naked and him encouraging the girls to take off their clothes. He masturbates, uses vibrators and massagers, and touches them with his hands. He does have intercourse with some - and even rapes one of his accusers. He sex-trafficked Virginia Giuffre, and I'm sure she wasn't the only one. He only seeks/wants girls that are thin and attractive. There are beautiful women who assist him with this process. Ghislaine Maxwell, the most well-known thanks to her friendship with ex-Prince Andrew and her prison sentence for sex trafficking for Epstein, is only one woman who helps Epstein lure hundreds of minor girls to his home.

The book then explores Epstein's childhood, family life, journey to wealth through questionable means, high intelligence, connections to people in high places, etc. It's interesting that it's so difficult to track how he actually became a multi-millionaire. He was an expert at manipulating numbers and people. What's most disturbing is the number of people who still considered him a friend or had business dealings with him after his first arrest and conviction for procuring a girl for prostitution of a person under 18. (Which was a despicable plea deal.) What's most disgusting (and there are quite a lot of things to find disgusting about this story) is the attempt to set up Epstein's accusers as extortionists. One of the most difficult things to discover in the book (other than the actual sexual actions of Epstein with young, vulnerable minors), is Alan Dershowitz, the American lawyer and Harvard Law professor, who denied all involvement with Epstein and his sexual activities with minor children. Yet Virginia Giuffre accused him of participating in his own sexual activities with her. I believe Virginia. Dershowitz was on the "dream team" defending OJ Simpson, was a member of Harvey Weinstein's defense team (another scumbag), defended Trump in his impeachment trial, and helped negotiate the non-prosecution agreement on Epstein's behalf. I really despise him.

This investigation is (further) proof that there is no justice if enough money is involved. It was a difficult read in that respect, but I do like to know more of the "truth" about a situation than what we read/hear in the media. This is a man who preyed on the vulnerable. I actually don't care if he committed suicide in prison or was murdered. It's one less criminal that the tax payers have to support. Good riddance.

Wendy's Rating: ****

My Next Breath by Jeremy Renner

I listened to this on audiobook, read by Jeremy Renner. I remember hearing about his accident in the very first reports made to the public. I had no idea at the time that getting "run over by a snow plow trying to save his nephew" meant getting crushed by a 14,000 lb Snow Cat! What's most remarkable about this story is Jeremy's survival. His fortitude and strength to save himself on the ice seems unmatched. He is a tough son of a gun, to put it very mildly! Ha! It was interesting to listen to his thoughts on life, because this is ultimately what saved him. His "clarity of intention" once the Snow Cat rolled off of him was to breathe. Without breath, there is no life. So he concentrated on breathing, one painful breath at a time - for 45 minutes! He believes he died once, but came back through shear persistence and the knowledge that he would stay dead if he didn't "wake up" and take another breath. He strongly believes that "complacency is death" and one must take action because doing something screams love and shows that you care.

Jeremy's personality shines through this memoir for sure. He's tough as nails, loves deeply, speaks freely, and was The. Worst. Patient. Ever. He was honest about what a jerk he was to the hospital staff. He continually ignored doctor's advice. He persuaded his poor nephew, the actual witness to this traumatic event, to do things against his better judgement. Jeremy is a force to be reckoned with. Many of these qualities (which I would consider undesirable in a family member or friend) is what saved his life. He is a man who decided to "face his fears" years ago, one after another. According to Jeremy, fear is simply caused by a lack of information. So the way to face a fear is to arm yourself with information so that it's no long scary. He also stated that something only has value if you give it value. He gave me a lot of things to think about.

Jeremy apologizes a lot in the book to his family and friends for bringing such trauma into their lives. He is obviously very close to his sister, nephew, and daughter. There seemed to be some relationship issues between his sister & mother (since they hadn't talked for months before the accident) and I couldn't get a good read on his actual relationship with his mother and father - a part from their (separate) support after the accident. What I do know is that this traumatic event, and his survival of it, has changed him forever. He has a sense of humor, but there is one incident in the book that I laughed about, out loud, for minutes! It was toward the end of the book and Jeremy explains the process the doctor used to take the four screws out of his face. He is incredibly funny in how he describes it. And then he went to Taco Bell. Hilarious!

Wendy's Rating: ****