The Push by Ashley Audrain

This is a fast-paced book and very engaging. Sometimes when I read a book where the main character engages in questionable actions, it's difficult for me not to dislike them or judge them. The main character in this novel is Blythe. As I was reading this, I found Blythe to be a reliable narrator, even if no one else believed what she was saying. Blythe, who is a writer, writes the words in this book for her husband, to share her side of the story.

She meets her (future) husband, Fox, when they are in college and they become a couple almost immediately. They love each other deeply and they both want children. Their first baby is a girl and they name her Violet. Unfortunately, Blythe doesn't connect with Violet in a maternal way. She senses that Violet feels the same way about her. So instead of trying to comfort Violet when she cries after waking up from her nap each day, she lets her cry so she can continue her writing. One day her husband comes home unexpectantly and discovers what Blythe is doing with their daughter. This, of course, is extremely upsetting to him and Blythe promises to do better. To try harder.

We also get to know the type of family that Blythe comes from. There are chapters written about her grandmother, Etta, who was abusive to her daughter, Cecilia, and who hung herself in their front yard one day. There are other chapters about Cecilia, Blythe's mother, who left Blythe and her husband (Blythe's father) when Blythe was 11 years old to live with another man. Blythe only saw her two more times in her life. This is not a loving family. Blythe wants to be different and she tries really hard. Meanwhile, Fox comes from a wonderful family. Fox' mother seems to understand Blythe, and Violet, and their contentious relationship, better than anyone else. She approaches everyone from a feeling of compassionate love.

Blythe suspects that Violet does mean, harmful things to other people, including other children, at a very young age. Fox believes that the problem is Blythe and her "lack of love" for Violet. Blythe manages to convince Fox to have another child and this time it's a boy. They name him Sam. Blythe connects with Sam instantly and becomes a completely different mother with him. This cements Blythe's belief that the problem is Violet and not herself, and it cements Fox' belief that the problem is Blythe and her lack of affection for Violet and not Violet herself.

Then, when Sam is one year old, he dies in a horrible accident. Sam's death pushes everyone to their breaking point. Blythe is destroyed emotionally and believes that Violet killed him. Fox leaves Blythe for another woman. They get shared custody of Violet. So, is Violet a child with psychopathic tendencies? Or is Violet's destructive, harmful actions simply in Violet's head because of her own trauma history? Truly an engaging read!

Wendy's Rating: ****

Assistant to the Villain by Hannah Nicole Maehrer

I decided to read this series because so many people said they liked it. This is not the series for me however, and I will not be finishing it! I could hardly get through the first 100 pages, but I like to give each book a fair shot. It takes time to build characters, relationships and a story line. Eventually I became mildly interested in Tristan and Evie's relationship, and there is an interesting twist in the story at the end that I wasn't expecting, but other than that, there is not enough to hold my interest.

I am not a huge fantasy reader, although I do love some series (like Harry Potter and Fourth Wing). I have no problem with young adult stories - or stories where the main characters are teenagers. The interactions between the characters in this book were over-the-top ridiculous though, in my opinion. When I find myself making continuous eye-rolling movements while reading, I know there is a problem.

Tristan is "the Villain". He sweeps through the town killing people who work for the King and tries to take the King's supplies. He encounters Evie one day, who has just lost her job. She is supporting her younger sister and ill father on her own since her brother died in a mysterious magical accident (caused by their mother) and her mother is gone. So, she desperately needs a new job. The Villain offers her one and she takes it. She works for the Villain each day and returns home each evening to care for her family. That's about it folks! There is your summary. Again, not for me.

Wendy's Rating: **

Typewriter Beach by Meg Waite Clayton

I'm not really sure if this is a fiction novel or a historical fiction novel. There are certainly real people named in it, and historical events, but when I googled Leon Chazan, the only thing that consistently comes up is a summary of this book! I was confused in the beginning about who everyone was and what was actually happening, to be honest. I understand that the author was "unfolding" the details in her own timeline, but I was initially lost and it took me awhile to get into the story. 

There are two time periods: 1957 and 2018. In 1957, a young actress, Isabella Giori, is sent to a cottage in Carmel-by-the-Sea. She was placed there by a Hollywood "fixer".  She wants to be the next star in an Alfred Hitchcock movie and her chances seem promising. She met with Hitchcock and his wife and they seemed to like her. But we don't really know why she is at the cottage instead of in Hollywood. Meanwhile, her next-door neighbor is "Leo", who spends his days and nights typing, which bothers Isabella because of the noise of his typing. The reader finds out he is a blacklisted screenwriter who continues to work under the radar. This is the era of McCarthyism. Although I understand what happened in Hollywood during this time, I was confused about people being sent away to secret locations (like Leo) and then either naming people who were communists or refusing to, which meant they were blacklisted. Leo refused to name anyone, so he was blacklisted, and he was living in his Carmel cottage. Since the "fixer" has set Isabella in a cottage and she has a "secret meeting" scheduled, Leo infers that she is in the same boat as he was.

Meanwhile, in 2018, Gemma Chazan, Leo's granddaughter is also a screenwriter. She comes to Carmel because Leo has died and she needs to sell his cottage. Gemma's mother died earlier and she never knew her father or grandmother. Now with Leo gone, she doesn't have any family left. She meets Isabella, and also Sam, who is staying at the cottage that Isabella once stayed in. Sam develops video games and his business partner is Mads (a female). He is staying in the cottage while working on his latest game. To add to the list of characters, there was a poet (Jeffers) who lived in Hawk Tower at Tor House in 1957 that is now deceased. His presence and/or poetry has influenced everyone else in the story.

After I figured out what was going on, and who everyone was, I quite enjoyed the unraveling of this story. There are secrets and relationships past and present that are unveiled to the reader, if not all the characters. It was a satisfying ending.

Wendy's Rating: ****

Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey

This is a combination memoir/positive affirmations book. I listened to this on audiobook and Matthew talks exactly how I would expect him to. He is a free spirit and rolls with the punches in life. He comes across as open, honest, assertive, and full of life. I have a new admiration for his wife. Ha! He can also be incredibly funny. There were a few times that I literally laughed out loud as he was sharing some of his stories.

Matthew initially thought he wanted to be an attorney. He came to acting later than a lot of people do, switching his college major from law to film. Once he started taking film classes, he ventured into acting. I was actually surprised to learn that he had a small role in Dazed and Confused and then managed to talk his way into the starring role in A Time to Kill, which was originally meant for Woody Harrelson. It's rare that a relatively unknown actor with few roles under his belt (most of them very minor) could finagle his way into a starring role - but that's exactly what he managed to do. Of course the success of this film skyrocketed Matthew to stardom.

Matthew's childhood was very interesting. You can honestly say that his parents were "spirited" people. They married each other three times and divorced each other twice. Matthew's father believed in making men of his sons, which involved physical aggression. It wouldn't be a parenting method that would work today, but it's how Matthew was raised. I would guess he didn't carry that over for raising his own children though!

Matthew spends a lot of time talking about his journey through life; his adventures to other parts of the world; his spirituality; his determination to make a "pivot" in his life when he decides he wants to do something else. He definitely has a "can do" mentality. Nothing stops him from doing what he thinks is best for him and his family. The book is filled with "Bumper Sticker slogans" and "Greenlights", which he sees as signs to move forward. Very entertaining.

Wendy's Rating: ****

The Stranger Beside Me by Ann Rule

Ann Rule, the author, was a friend of Ted Bundy, so she has a unique perspective. She met Ted when they both worked at a crisis center answering phones. He was kind, caring, supportive, and charismatic. Ann liked him very much. Ted was around 24 when they worked together. Ann was older, married, with children. She was a crime reporter and ironically, she had already been assigned to write a story on the unknown serial killer who was raping and murdering teens and young women in the Seattle area, which is where they both lived. Ann & Ted were friends for many years, even writing letters to each other until his death by lethal injection in 1989. Her feelings for Ted obviously changed over time. Initially, she didn't believe that Ted Bundy was THE Ted that was terrorizing young women in the Seattle area. The more she researched, the more she learned, the more details she uncovered, her opinion of Ted changed from "friend" to "monster". She gave him the benefit of the doubt long after I would have! Of course, as they say, hindsight is 20/20. We know a lot more now about Ted's crimes than Ann knew at the time she was writing about him. Ted finally admitted his guilt shortly before he died and provided some information and details about what he did to some women/children that were never found. It was at this time that he admitted that he started killing at the age of 15 and he had killed many, many women in several different states.

I learned a lot about Ted Bundy from reading this. I thought I knew what he had done, but for some reason, I thought it was only in Florida. He truly was a monster. What was really difficult to read about was the endless number of women who loved him, believed in him, sent him money & stamps in prison, fought for his release from prison, fought for his death sentence to be revoked. It's absolute madness. This man did despicable things to girls as young as 12 years old! He may have savagely murdered between 100-300 children, teens, young women!! Some will never be found. The number of appeals, the amount of money the State of Florida had to spend to fight Ted's appeals ($6 million back in the 1980s!), the number of people who wanted him off death row is astounding and disturbing. I know that lots of people are against the death penalty but come on. Honestly. He didn't deserve to live. At the end, he stated he didn't want to die. Really? Neither did any of the possibly hundreds of young lives he took savagely. Disgusting.

I get discouraged by our legal system when I read books like this. I can't believe how much proof it takes to take down a serial killer. Ted used the same ploy, drove the same vehicle, didn't disguise himself (other than wearing a fake mustache as times) again and again. Some women got away and reported him. They could describe him. But as with many of these crime stories, there is no communication between law enforcement agencies in different states. I sure hope that has changed! Ted managed to escape from jail twice!! When he escaped the second time, he went to Florida, used a different name, and when he was arrested there (after several more murders), the Florida authorities hadn't even heard of Ted Bundy!

This was a very detailed book and extremely interesting. I didn't want to put it down. The only thing that bothered me was how long it took Ann Rule to truly understand what a monster Ted Bundy was!

Wendy's Rating: *****

I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

The control that Jennette's mother had over Jennette was quite shocking and remarkable. Mom wanted to be an actress, failed, so forced Jennette to be an actress. Jennette's entire world was centered around her mother; what her mother wanted; what her mother wanted her to do. She was only six years old when she was forced to go to auditions. Her strengths were that she could cry on cue and she could memorize her lines very easily and quickly. Since Jennette was small in stature, she looked younger than she was. This worked to her advantage because she could get roles playing young girls at an older age and be more experienced on set. When she started to develop budding breasts as a preteen (10 or so), mom taught her how to calorie count. Mom started Jennette on the path of anorexia as a preteen. Eventually anorexia turned into binge eating, which turned into years of severe bulimia. 

Jennette's mother controlled her so completely that she was still wiping Jennette's butt after she had a BM when she was 10 years old. She was showering Jennette and giving her vaginal, rectum, and breast checks until she was 16 years old! Sometimes mom made Jennette shower with her younger brother so mom could save time with her showering process. Jennette's mom was more than the typical "stage mom". She was over-the-top on every set, every meeting, every audition. I can't believe that people let her get away with it. Jennette really didn't know life could be another way, so she just went with it. She felt the need to do everything she was told so she could earn mom's love.

Jennette's mom was diagnosed with cancer when Jennette was young, but she fought it and went into remission. Mom used her cancer story to gain sympathy at every turn. When mom's cancer returned, Jennette was devastated. What was her life without her mother? This co-dependent relationship about destroyed Jennette. Not only did she have a severe eating disorder, but she ended up with a severe drinking problem. She was on two hit shows (iCarly and Sam & Cat) on Nickelodeon, but she didn't respect her character (they were silly shows) and hated acting. Needless to say, her relationships with men were not healthy. Ironically, her closest friend ended up being her co-star on iCarly (Miranda Cosgrove).

Jennette wasn't truly able to live her life until her mother died of cancer. She spent years in therapy (finally) to work through the bulimia, addiction issues, self-worth issues. It took strength and courage to find her true self. Quitting acting also helped. I listened to this on audiobook, narrated by Jennette herself. It's a disturbing story and I would guess that Jennette will always struggle in some respect as a result of her childhood trauma.

Wendy's Rating: ****

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin

When I heard this novel was about gaming, I was skeptical that it was as good as everyone was saying it was. I have never played a video game in my life, and I have zero interest in doing so now. Well, I loved this book! 

The main characters are Sam, Sadie, and Marx. Sam & Sadie met as children in the hospital. Sam was in the hospital after a serious foot injury he received in a car accident that killed his mother. He had undergone several surgeries to try to correct the problem. He hadn't spoken to anyone since the accident (6 weeks) and spend his days playing a video game at the hospital. Sadie was visiting her sister, Alice, who had childhood cancer. Sadie joined Sam one day in the game room; Sam spoke to her; and their friendship began. Sam shut Sadie out of his life however after he found out that Sadie was getting community hours credit by spending time with him all those days at the hospital. 

Sam met Marx in college when they were assigned as roommates. Sam was the odd duck living in poverty. Marx was wealthy, handsome, kind, charming, and seemed drawn to Sam because he liked helping people who needed it. He was really Sam's only friend. One day Sam unexpectedly saw Sadie in public and called out to her. She initially ignored him, but he was persistent and she turned around to talk to him. Sam had forgiven her. Sadie was taking college classes in game coding & development. She gave Sam a game she had developed called "Solution"; he played it; and they eventually became partners in the game making business. Marx became their "manager", for all intents and purposes. The above explanation is very simplified. They story is much more detailed and engaging. These three characters, and their relationships with each other, are what drive the book. Sam & Sadie had a very contentious relationship at times. They were both extremely intelligent and talented, but they had different visions in their game development. Marx supported and loved them both. He was the calming presence in their personal and business lives.

As Sam & Sadie develop games (some highly successful and some not), their relationship goes through some rough times. Sam has always loved Sadie but never acted on it since they were business partners. Although Sadie also loved Sam, she was in an on and off relationship with her college professor, Dev, and eventually fell in love with Marx, which hit Sam incredibly hard.

As for the name of the book, and what it means, Marx explains it this way: "What is a game? It's tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow. It's the possibility of infinite rebirth, infinite redemption. The idea that if you keep playing, you could win. No loss is permanent, because nothing is permanent, ever."

This book will break your heart, but it also demonstrates the power of friendship love. It's so much more than a book about gaming.

Wendy's Rating: *****