Spare by Prince Harry

I listened to this on audiobook, read by Prince Harry. I have a deeper understanding of Prince Harry's decision to leave Royal life after reading this. I also understand why security for his family is so important to him, beyond what happened to his mother at the hands of the paparazzi. Thirdly, the fact that the media simply makes things up for the sensationalism of it all is driven home in this book. Anything to sell their story. After finishing this book, I started My Name is Barbra and Barbra Streisand says the exact same thing as Prince Harry on this subject in her Prologue! I think there is a difference between someone whose goal was to "be a star" vs. someone like Prince Harry who was simply born into it, however.

Prince Harry has a significant trauma history that he continues to battle. Even before Princess Diana died, his father's jokes about his true paternity and Harry being the second born (the spare) were engrained deeply into his soul. On top of that, he shoved his feelings inside and just kept pressing on. After his mother died, there were people who loved him of course, but he was not shown affection like his mother had shown him. The Royal family is hardcore. No demonstrations of affection at any level. He never hugged his grandmother, Queen Elizabeth. It wasn't allowed. What a lonely existence.

Being second born, and with Prince William marrying Kate Middleton and starting a family, he continually dropped down the line of succession. He wasn't a good student (basically had no interest in the classroom), so he wasn't sure what to do with his life. He and his father decided that the Army would be best for him. He eventually learned how to fly an Apache helicopter, which is a complicated piece of aircraft. He thrived in the Army, but was called out suddenly, more than once, since he became a target for the enemy (he was in Afghanistan), putting himself and his unit in danger since there was such a high price on his head. He was not allowed to return after his second (shortened) deployment.

Harry did have two significant relationships before Meghan Markle: Chelsy Davy and Cressida Bonas. Neither were overly impressed or invested in him as a Royal, which is what Harry really loved about them. Unfortunately, the paparazzi harassed them, their friends, their family endlessly. No sane person wants to live that way, including them. When he met Meghan Markle, it was pretty much love at first sight. The paparazzi and the stories circulating in the media (some made up; some derogatory; some a result of betrayal) caused Meghan to consider suicide at one point. They really didn't have support from the Crown, who just wanted them to stay quiet and toe the line. It's incredibly sad. Prince Harry's actions and feelings since childhood are a reflection of how lost he really was.

Royal life would be a difficult life. What I want to say to all of them is this: "View the situation from a different perspective." Perspective-taking is key. Prince Harry is so focused on the lack of support shown him and his inability to get what he wanted (1/2-year Royal life in England; 1/2-year in a different country) that he loses sight of what life has been like for Prince William since birth. Prince William comes across as angry and unsupportive in this book, but his life has to be super challenging. As heir to the throne, he doesn't have a choice in anything at all. His wife doesn't either. They have to meet certain (high) standards set by the Queen/King. Harry can't seem to acknowledge that. Harry was allowed to "run free" and do all sorts of questionable things. William could never be free to do anything that would potentially hurt the image of the Royal family. I totally understand why William would be upset with Harry. On the other hand, Harry has a right to security. He has been a "target" his entire life and now with a wife and two young children to protect, his family should step up and help protect them. That's what families do. It's quite tragic. Hopefully Kate Middleton will change the Monarchy is ways that Diana was ultimately not able to. Kate can finish what Diana started.

Wendy's Rating: ****

Paris by Paris Hilton

I listened to this on Audiobook. It was read by Paris Hilton. People's personas on social media can be very different than the person behind the persona. I didn't have any particular interest in Paris Hilton before reading this, but her experiences pretty much shocked me. Paris doesn't present herself in this book any other way than what she is. She is privileged from a wealthy family. She is also a hard worker, which appears to be the case for every generation of her family. She is open and unapologetic about the challenge she was to her parents as a young teenager, who were very strict. She rebelled against that strictness in a very public way. That's the Paris Hilton I know from her antics being presented in the media. I also remember her from her show with Nicole Richie, which I never really watched, figuring it was silly.

So here is what I didn't know - and what the family didn't want anyone to know: Paris' parents sent her away for two years to Provo Canyon School in Utah, which was a "school" for troubled teens. Her parents told everyone else that she was in London. As an adult, Paris has fought to shut down Provo and other "schools" like Provo because of the intense abuse suffered by the children who have been forced to attend them. To be fair to Paris' parents, Provo was presented as something entirely different than how it was actually run. Paris begged her parents to take her out of Provo and made several attempts to escape it. She was always caught and forced to return - sometimes being turned in by her family. They simply didn't know what was going on. Paris tried to tell them, but having a "wild child" complaining about a school setting isn't likely to be believed by anyone. It's like the little boy who cried wolf once too often. Paris also grew up with undiagnosed ADHD, so that didn't help her behaviors.

With that being said, Paris was tormented and abused at Provo, along with everyone else who was there. They were taught to degrade and humiliate each other - oftentimes for several hours at a time. Trust was non-existent. There were times that Paris trusted other "students" who turned her in. There were other times that other "students" tricked her into thinking they wanted to escape too, but these were often attempts to turn the focus from themselves onto Paris, who would then be punished for it. Interestingly, Paris doesn't necessarily blame her parents for sending her to Provo since she accepts that they didn't honestly know what happened there. They believed they were doing the right thing, since she was out-of-control and they didn't want to "lose" her. She seems to definitely suffer from PTSD however, and I'm not sure her relationship with her mother will ever be 100% healthy. Her mother really doesn't seem to be comfortable talking about hard things in life. She's a "sweep it under the rug" and hope it goes away kind of person. According to her, their family needs to behave a certain way and be presented a certain way and anything less than that is unacceptable.

This memoir is well written and really demonstrates Paris' determination, intelligence, and limitless strength to push through, no matter what.

Wendy's Rating: ****

Sociopath by Patric Gagne

This was a very informational memoir. Since I work in the field of mental health, I found this first-person narrative of what it's like living with sociopathy very enlightening. I also liked learning the differences between sociopathy, psychopathy, and antisocial personality disorder. The majority of people use these three diagnoses interchangeably, which is understandable since the DSM-5 does not include sociopathy or psychopathy as standalone diagnoses.

Patric knew she was different from other kids at a very young age. She didn't experience any emotions like the people around her. She didn't feel guilty for hurting someone or doing something bad. She had no sense of remorse. This is one of the key symptoms of this diagnosis of course, but it was interesting when Patric explained that she felt something build up inside her that could only be released if she did something bad. Doing bad things allowed her to "feel" something, so that's why she did the things she did: breaking into homes, stealing things, stabbing a classmate in the neck with a pencil, and when she got older, stealing cars. Otherwise, she felt nothing.

Patric had to do a lot of her own research to understand sociopathy. She tried hard to maintain relationships with people she cared about, especially her mother, sister and her childhood friend/future husband, David. These are the people who seemed to accept her for who she was (for the most part.) Even though she may not experience "love" like the average person does, she does love people in her life. She certainly didn't want to lose them. I had a more difficult time understanding her relationship with her father. He pretty much forced her into the music industry (as a manager), but she ended up being really good at it. If you take away feelings like fear, guilt and empathy, you can be very successful in a ruthless business, which the music industry is. So, she became quite successful at it, even though she didn't necessary want to do it and eventually quit.

Patric's mission was to understand and accept herself and to live in this acceptance fully. She found herself always trying to mimic what other people did in specific situations so that she would fit in. With that being said, a lot of us do that! I did it myself for at least two decades of my life, so you don't have to be a sociopath to live in a way you think you should, rather than how you want. Honestly, I think that's human nature. I learned a lot however, and I'm glad that Patric was able to find acceptance and happiness with her husband and sons.

Wendy's Rating: ****

Code Name Helene by Ariel Lawhon

I really loved this book, maybe even more than The Frozen River. This is a historical fiction novel. Nancy Wake is Australian, but living in Paris. She is bold and fearless, and I admire her guts and determination. She doesn't let anything or anyone stop her from what she wants to do, or believes that she needs to do. Nancy is a journalist for Hearst, a job she got by bluffing her way into it. In the early 1930s, Nancy was sent by Hearst to interview Hitler, who was the German chancellor in Vienna at the time. In 1936, Nancy and her cameraman, Frank, are in Berlin and they witness a woman tied to a waterwheel being whipped again and again because she is Jewish. This is Nancy's first encounter with Obersturmfuhrer Wolff, who is known for his whip and his cruelty. I don't think Nancy hates anyone more than she hates this man/Nazi.

Also in 1936, Nancy meets Henri Fiocca, a wealthy industrialist. Her friend, Stephanie, defines Henri as, "the most notorious heartbreaker in all of France." Well, Henri sets his eyes on Nancy (and loves her laugh) and his gaze never leaves her. He is very attractive and Nancy is wary of his attention, especially because of his reputation. He wears her down however and they end up being the loves of each other's lives. Henri is an extremely supportive husband, even though he fears for Nancy's life and never knows if she will return to him after her missions for the French Resistance. Henri's father doesn't like this brash Australian at all, so they definitely don't have family support. Henri's father wants Henri to marry Marceline, a beautiful Frenchwoman who desperately wants Henri (or at least his money), but Henri is certainly not interested. A little foreshadowing: this poses a severe problem in the future.

The story alternates between time periods (between the years 1936-1944) and narrators (Nancy and Henri), and various places that Nancy and Henri find themselves. Nancy has four code names: "Madame Andree", "Lucienne Carlier", "Helene", and "The White Mouse". Nancy works with a variety of people (mostly men) and groups. In all situations she presents herself as a leader and people come to respect her as such. So, does it get confusing? Yes. It certainly does get confusing with all of the jumping around in time. On top of that, Nancy is not the only person using a code name! The reader does not always know that someone she meets in 1939 is the same person she is working with in 1944 because he is using a different name. Surprise!

I love reading books about strong women, especially when they actually existed. Nancy Wake was one exceptional woman. Well worth the read.

Wendy's Rating: *****

Know My Name by Chanel Miller

I listened to this on audiobook, read by the author. First of all, Chanel Miller is a really talented writer. Her writing style is very engaging. This is a memoir about her experience being sexually assaulted on the Stanford University campus one night when she attended a frat party with her younger sister. It exposes the injustices of our legal system, which always seems to rule in the favor of wealth and status. I have to hope and pray that the tide will swing the other way one day, toward justice for the victims, regardless of their financial status.

Chanel Miller was known as "Emily Doe" until 2019. Her assault happened in 2015. It seemed to be a "slam dunk" case. Two Swedish men on bicycles saw her being assaulted, while unconscious, and caught the man after he ran from the scene and they called the police. Chanel was laying on the ground behind a dumpster, naked from the waist down, one breast hanging out, unresponsive. So, there were eye witnesses, DNA, the perpetrator running from the scene, and yet it took 15 months in the court system before the assaulter, Brock Turner, was found guilty of three felony offenses. Despite all the evidence, and the conviction, Brock was only given six months in the county jail (only three months for good behavior), because his family was wealthy and he was a star swimmer with a great scholarship. By the time this case was argued in court, Brock was declaring that the sexual encounter was consensual, and all of his character witnesses gave glowing reports of what a wonderful person he was. Of course, none of them had ever hung out with him while he was drinking heavily at a frat party.

Meanwhile, they painted Chanel as a black-out drunk who was promiscuous and a party animal. She was hammered away by the defense attorney about every minute detail of the day and night. Where did she have dinner? What did she have to eat? What time? How much? Why did she go to the party? Did she want to? Who did she go with? What time? What did she drink at dinner? How much? What time? And on and on and on. It was endless. And this was when she finally got to court! There was delay after delay, which put her life on hold, as well as her sister's life, who kept having to reschedule her life because of rescheduled court appearances. 

The turning point was when Chanel was not allowed to read her entire victim impact statement in court because it was too long. She was asked if it was okay to post the statement on BuzzFeed, and she said yes, because why not? She was disillusioned and angry and discouraged. Well the victim impact statement went viral, viewed by 11 million people in four days. It resulted in changes in California law and the recall of the judge who oversaw the case. Chanel reads her entire statement at the end of her book. It's extremely well-written and obviously very powerful. Highly recommend!

Wendy's Rating: *****

Dead Wake by Erik Larson

I listened to this via audiobook. I am a fan of Erik Larson. He does thorough research on his topic (a lot of his books are set in times of war) and presents the facts in an engaging and informative way. He includes what's going on with other key people at the time of the event(s), including personal information on their relationships at the time and/or their emotional frame of mind. I think this always adds to the story and helps to create a "bigger picture" of the era.

Dead Wake is about the sinking of the Lusitania in May 1915 during WWI. It was sunk by one torpedo that was fired by a German U-boat, whose captain, Walther Schwieger, was one of the deadliest captains the Germans had at the time. Schwieger only cared about the tonnage that he could sink. The greater the tonnage of the boat, the higher the honor. Since the Lusitania was a passenger cruise liner, with 2,000 passengers and crew on board, this was definitely a new "low" by the hands of the Germans.

The Lusitania was the fastest liner in service at the time. It could travel up to 26 knots, which is much faster than a U-boat could ever move. U-boats moved around 9 knots. So even though the Lusitania was traveling through an area where U-boats were known to be present, most people, including Captain William Thomas Turner, believed that it could flee the danger of an U-boat. Yep. And..... the Titanic was considered "unsinkable".

So, the Titanic sunk in 1912 and the industry made significant changes so that this type of event would not ever happen again. The Lusitania had plenty of lifeboats and lifejackets on board - enough for every person on board. They also trained the crew to handle the two different types of lifeboats on board, including regular drills. BUT, they didn't instruct the passengers on emergency procedures; didn't assign boats/locations for the passengers to go to in an emergency; didn't even instruct the passengers how to correctly put on their lifejackets. These facts became issues that compounded the problem of course. It also hurt deeply that the crew members that were trained in how to manage the lifeboats were mostly killed by the torpedo blast, since the torpedo landed in their section of the boat.

This was a chain reaction of unfortunate timing, from beginning to end. The Lusitania left England late; the Lusitania couldn't travel as fast as it normally could because management of the Cunard Line told Captain Turner to only use three of the four funnels; since there was no sonar at the time, a deep fog had the Lusitania traveling slower during parts of the journey and it ended up over 12 miles from the coast as they approached Liverpool instead of the normal 1 mile or so; the evaporation of the fog was advantageous to the U-boats in the area since now they could see other boats in the area; Schwieger miscalculated the speed of the Lusitania and aimed the torpedo according to his calculations of the ship going faster than it actually was, so the torpedo hit a spot that actually sunk the entire ship in a matter of minutes. If he had known the ship was going only 18 knots, the torpedo would have hit a part of the ship that allowed people to use the lifeboats, etc.

The reader also learns about President Wilson's emotional state at this time (the death of his wife); how deeply Wilson felt about the USA staying out of WWI; "Room 40" which was a top secret British intelligence site that intercepted German radio transmissions; all the known movements of the German U-boats in the area and other sinkings of boats at the time that no one shared with Captain Turner. So much information.

The conspiracy theorists believe that Britain allowed the Lusitania to be torpedoed simply to get the USA involved in the war. Britain was losing the war at this point and they needed the USA to step up. I would certainly hope that is a false theory. Such a tragedy.

Wendy's Rating: *****

Keeper of the Lost Cities: Nightfall by Shannon Messenger

This is the 6th book of this series. I think I was experiencing "series fatigue" in this book. I found myself being irritated with Sophie for focusing on her human parents after they were kidnapped by the Neverseen. Why wouldn't she be focused on them? She loved them. I found myself just wanting her to move on and focus on the "big picture" problem. Very insensitive of me. Part of the problem is waiting too long to read the next book in the series. I lose track of what the key goal is in this story. I'm glad that she finally let one of the three boys that love her go though. It's difficult to not like all the guys that are interested in her, but she needed to let someone off the hook. So Dex has finally been set free. The other two, Fitz and Keefe, are both awesome and it's difficult to decide between them. I have a tendency to favor Keefe, but to be fair, the focus was on him for this book. Fitz might take a bigger role in Book 7 and then I will switch back to him.

Anyway, Sophie's human parents are taken and being held prisoners by the Neverseen at a place called Nightfall. Keefe's mother, Lady Gisela, once a part of the Neverseen and now apparently wanting to work with the Black Swan, has knowledge of Nightfall (because she designed it - as well as the monsters that guard it.) No one trusts her (for good reason), but Sophie & gang need her and the information she is willing to give them about Nightfall if they are going to find Sophie's parents. Sophie's human sister, Amy, is brought in to the Elvin world, and she is initially kept safe in Atlantis, the infamous city sunk in the ocean. Then she is moved for her protection because the Neverseen seem to know everything about Sophie and her cohorts. Another element has been introduced into the story: Soporidine. This is a drug that has been developed by the Neverseen that will induce someone to go to "sleep" indefinitely. There is an antidote, but the Neverseen are the only ones that have it. Sophie & friends & the council are definitely behind the eight ball in this installment. 

The gang finds Alden, the betrayer and Fitz & Bianna's sibling, at Nightfall. He is severely injured and in a deep sleep caused by Soporidine. They take him back with them. They are trying to develop an antidote to the Soporidine, which they will need for him to wake up and give them information about the Neverseen and where they are holding Sophie's human parents. The only thing they find at Nightfall is Alden. Then they find out that the original Nightfall is actually in Atlantis.

The elves manage to team up with King Dimitar of the ogres. He is initially hesitant, since they are known enemies, but he comes around. He sends his daughter, Princess Ro, to be Keefe's bodyguard after he is nearly mortally wounded. She is a wonderful addition to the team!

This is a good vs. evil story and it's taking some time for good to conquer evil!

Wendy's Rating: ****