A Hymn to Life by Gisele Pelicot

The book is astounding in how disturbing it is. Gisele Pelicot is shockingly honest and bold when she talks about her upbringing and her life/marriage with her husband of 50 years, Dominique. I had heard about her court case of course, since it made the world news, but her personal narrative makes her final statement all the more powerful.

Gisele's wonderful, kind mother died young. Her father, who was also very supportive and kind, remarried a woman who was anything but. It definitely makes me wonder who Gisele would have been had her mother not died, or if her father had not remarried, or if he had remarried someone as kind as him. It would have changed the trajectory of her life - and her sights would not have fallen to Dominique.

Dominique had an awful childhood full of abuse: sexual (including the idea that incest was "normal"), physical, and emotional. When Gisele & Dominique meet each other and connect on a deeply personal level, she feels like the connection between them will allow them to escape their horrible pasts. And maybe they did for awhile. Dominique certainly must have loved his family (Gisele and their three children and eventually grandchildren) enough for them all to feel his love of them so deeply. No one who grows up in a loving household with two attentive parents would ever think of something so degrading and horrible as Dominique's depraved actions bubbling up beneath the surface. In hindsight of course, Gisele had signs along the way that Dominique's sexual preferences were changing. But nothing prepared her for the true horror of her life.

Gisele was deeply worried about her own health for a number of years, and that seemed to be her focus. She was experiencing blackouts, memory loss, dental issues, and other health issues. She thought she was dying at times, but no doctor she visited could identify what was going on with her. Why would she ever think that her husband of 40-50 years would be drugging her, and for what purpose? When she gets that life shattering phone call from the police department - the one that tears apart her life and the life of her adult children - she is stunned. The man she loved so deeply; the man that she shared her life with for 50 years; was a deeply disturbed sexual predator, rapist, and suspected murderer. Dominique had been drugging her for over 10 years so that her lifeless body could be raped repeatedly over 200 times by Dominique himself and the strange men that he brought into their home.

Gisele has to process her happy memories with Dominique and see how they fit into the monster she finds out that he is. Her emotional evolution is remarkable. In the four years since that original phone call, she becomes a strong, brave advocate for women against sexual violence. She forces herself to look at the photos and videos of her being raped vaginally and orally and being brutally sodomized; she sits in court every day during her four month trial and listens to over 50 rapists try to "prove" that she was a willing participant; she fights back against the idea that she "knew" what was happening to her; she fights for her daughter's sanity (who believes that she was also raped by her father when pictures turn up of her sleeping soundly in her bed, although he adamantly denied that he did anything to his children & grandchildren). The depravity of some human beings sickens me to no end.

I hope Gisele finds her happy ending. She deserves it.

Wendy's Rating: ****

The Most Fun We Ever Had by Claire Lombardo

This is a debut novel about a family living in the Chicago area. David & Marilyn Sorenson have four adult daughters: Wendy, Violet, Liza, and Grace. The writing style is very fluid and it was an easy read. I was also invested in each of the characters to some degree, but I certainly didn't like some of them at times. What I love about character novels, however, is seeing the growth in each character as the story unfolds.

David & Marilyn have one of these amazing marriages based on unconditional love and affection. They have their problems over the years for sure, but they really don't believe that anything is more important than their relationship. They are very demonstrative in their affection for each other, which I think is sweet. Their daughters seem to always view it as a negative thing however. There is an underlying vibe throughout the book that these family members perceive each other with a slant toward the negative. This really bothered me and it's the reason I'm giving it 4 stars (for the writing style and character development) rather than 5 stars. I don't mind reading about beautifully flawed people, but I hated how they were always undercutting each other - and they were really hard on Marilyn. Even the title of the book refers to a comment made in jest by David & Marilyn about raising their daughters ("The most fun we ever had.") Of course when all is said and done, and their daughters are adults and finally finding their own way despite their individual hardships, David says the same phrase to Marilyn and means it. So, there's that.

Wendy is the oldest daughter and marries an extremely wealthy man who ends up dying way too young. Their only child is born sleeping. So, she has to deal with a lot. I don't think her sisters give her enough grace as she grieves for her lost "life". She's not exactly warm and fuzzy though. Violet is her "Irish twin" and while they were close as children, they aren't as adults. It's pretty sad. They seem to be jealous of each other and certainly find ways to sabotage their sisterhood. Violet got pregnant as a teenager and Wendy took her in so she could have the baby and put it up for adoption without their parents even knowing about it. (Why?) But then Wendy tracks the child (now a 15 year old teenager named Jonah) and brings him into their lives, which throws Violet, her husband and young children into a tailspin. (Why?) Liza's boyfriend suffers from severe depression, which she just seems to suffer through. Then she finds out she's pregnant and suddenly has an affair, which her boyfriend finds out about and leaves her. (Ok?) Finally there is Grace, the "baby" of the family, who is pretending to be attending school but is really failing out of life.

I can't pretend to know what it's like to have even one sister, so maybe sisters can really be like this to each other. I hope not though. In the end, each character has grown and apparently decided that telling the truth isn't as bad as it once seemed to them. And all of them accept Jonah into their midst. All's well that ends well.

Wendy's Rating: ****

You With the Sad Eyes by Christina Applegate

I know I shouldn't be shocked about how many artists/actors/musicians come from trauma-filled childhoods anymore, but it almost seems like the bigger the star, the bigger the trauma they have experienced in their life. It's crazy. Christina Applegate, who started her acting career earlier than most, was already being sexually abused by the age of 5. Her father abandoned her and her mother; her mother's significant other, who lived with Christina and her mother, introduced Christina's mother to heroin, which quickly became an addiction. Once addicted, Christina was pretty much left in the care of other drug-users/addicts. Her mother eventually kicked her habit (which is actually quite remarkable since she did it on her own), but the early childhood trauma had already made a significant impact on Christina and her life choices.

One thing Christina says early in this book is that research has shown that people who develop MS often have a trauma history. Basically, that MS can be brought on by trauma. I had never heard that before, but I have wondered why so many artists seem to suffer from a variety of debilitating illnesses. Maybe there is something to that. In Christina's case, she certainly hasn't had it easy. She was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer - which resulted in a double mastectomy - years before her MS diagnosis in her 50s. Now she lives with daily debilitating pain and has lost her ability to do two things she loves: dance and act.

Not having a role model in her life representing a "healthy relationship", Christina made some really awful choices in men. She was involved in an abusive relationship (name unknown, but she tended to go for musicians) for years. She just kept going back. She explains how difficult it is to get out of these type of relationships when you have low self-worth, in addition to feeling like you can help other people. Like many in the acting world, she experiences body dysmorphia and was anorexic. I am always amazed that people with so many issues, whether it's addiction, depression, dysmorphia, low self-esteem, bi-polar disorder, or any other number of issues, can consistently show up at their acting jobs every day, work 14-16 hour days, and portray their on-screen characters in such a way that the viewer has no idea what they are going through in the real life. It's pretty remarkable. It makes me wonder how far they would have gone without the traumatic childhoods. 

Christina is open and honest about her life now - and she calls herself to the carpet for interviews she did when she wasn't honest about how she was really feeling as she was going through her breast cancer and first diagnosed with MS. She is a fighter for sure.

Wendy's Rating: ****

The Searcher by Tana French

It's been many years since I have read a Tana French novel. Apparently, I have been missing out. I really enjoyed this book and I love the writing style. The Searcher is book one of a series of three. Cal Hooper is a retired Chicago cop who moves to a small Irish village to escape from life. He leaves behind an ex-wife and an adult daughter. We don't really find out too much in this book about what he is escaping from, except we know his divorce was not particularly amicable. He also seems to have a fairly strained relationship with his daughter, who he calls faithfully once a week, but doesn't always reach her. He buys a rundown "cottage" in Ireland, which needs a lot of work. It doesn't take long for word to spread in this small village that he is a retired cop.

One day a young teenager (13 years old) arrives on his doorstep and pretty much begs Cal to find their missing brother. Cal doesn't want to initially. After all, he is retired. But the teenager, Trey Reddy, is highly persuasive. Cal develops almost a father/child relationship with Trey, teaching Trey to fire a weapon, hunt rabbits for dinner, fish for dinner, and refurbish furniture in his house. The problem with Cal tracking down Trey's brother is that no one else in town wants him to. Pretty soon sheep are getting brutally murdered in the fields; Trey is beaten up; Cal is savagely beaten by three unknown men, who only stopped when Trey tried to shoot them with Cal's rifle; and a woman in town, Lena, is having to stay at Cal's house with Trey to assist with all the injuries. The men in the village are big into "sending messages" through brute force. Some of these messages were a bit obscure to me, but fortunately Cal explains them to the reader by musing to himself about the messages sent! Ha!

Most of the characters in this book are rough around the edges, to put it lightly. Even the people that are outwardly friendly (like Cal's neighbor) have an undercurrent of hostility about them. It would be difficult to know who to trust - or simply who to take at face value - in this village. Cal learns a lot about the villagers as he continues to search for Trey's brother. During his search, he uncovers the element of crime running through the village. I found myself engaged in the story and I really like Tana French's story-telling techniques, especially the humor. I will definitely be finishing this series.

Wendy's Rating: ****

Part of Your World by Abby Jimenez

I'm not generally a fan of the romance genre - and I really hate the covers of most romance novels - but I decided to read an Abby Jimenez book to see what the hoopla was about. I have to admit, I quite liked this book. The writing style was fluid and the conversations didn't make me roll my eyes. The challenges keeping the two main characters, Alexis and Daniel, apart were realistic. Alexis was 10 years older than Daniel, wealthy, a doctor amongst a family of surgeons with a medical legacy to uphold, a brother who jumped ship to another country to marry the woman he loved because their parents would never accept her, and a home/family hospital located two hours from where Daniel lived. Daniel was a carpenter living in a rustic, small town home while running a Bed & Breakfast during the summer season in his family home that he couldn't afford to buy. His mother owned it, who he grew up thinking was his sister. She was not responsible and seemed to have no motherly feelings for Daniel. She was certainly not sensitive to his needs. So both Alexis and Daniel were pretty much tied to their ancestral homes/legacy.

Alexis knows that her parents would never accept Daniel in her life, so she sees him secretly. Her bother was disinherited when his dad found out he married a pop star. No one knows about Daniel except her best friend. All the rest of her "friends" were superficial at best, which Alexis quickly discovers the first time they unexpectantly meet Daniel. They were positively horrible to him because of his "lower status" in life. What I really liked about this book is how much Alexis grows as a person. She sees how shallow her life has been, following in his parent's footsteps in the medical field simply because it was expected of her; dating an emotionally abusive man for seven years because her parents loved him; living in a mansion and not valuing the smaller things in life; buying a $4,000 dress "just because" and wearing $2,000 sandals to a funeral "just because".  Although she wanted to do something more meaningful in her life, she didn't have the strength to go against her parents. Another thing I loved about the book is Daniel and all the people who lived in his small town. They were like one big family. Very heartwarming.

Alexis finally sees herself in her mother, who never goes against her husband in anything, even to support her children. Her relationship with her long-term surgeon boyfriend is exactly like her mom's relationship with her dad. They both just went along to go along because it was too difficult to fight against it. Alexis decides to break free from this cycle of emotional abuse. The ending of the book is extremely satisfying and I really enjoyed the read.

Wendy's Rating: ****

The Push by Ashley Audrain

This is a fast-paced book and very engaging. Sometimes when I read a book where the main character engages in questionable actions, it's difficult for me not to dislike them or judge them. The main character in this novel is Blythe. As I was reading this, I found Blythe to be a reliable narrator, even if no one else believed what she was saying. Blythe, who is a writer, writes the words in this book for her husband, to share her side of the story.

She meets her (future) husband, Fox, when they are in college and they become a couple almost immediately. They love each other deeply and they both want children. Their first baby is a girl and they name her Violet. Unfortunately, Blythe doesn't connect with Violet in a maternal way. She senses that Violet feels the same way about her. So instead of trying to comfort Violet when she cries after waking up from her nap each day, she lets her cry so she can continue her writing. One day her husband comes home unexpectantly and discovers what Blythe is doing with their daughter. This, of course, is extremely upsetting to him and Blythe promises to do better. To try harder.

We also get to know the type of family that Blythe comes from. There are chapters written about her grandmother, Etta, who was abusive to her daughter, Cecilia, and who hung herself in their front yard one day. There are other chapters about Cecilia, Blythe's mother, who left Blythe and her husband (Blythe's father) when Blythe was 11 years old to live with another man. Blythe only saw her two more times in her life. This is not a loving family. Blythe wants to be different and she tries really hard. Meanwhile, Fox comes from a wonderful family. Fox' mother seems to understand Blythe, and Violet, and their contentious relationship, better than anyone else. She approaches everyone from a feeling of compassionate love.

Blythe suspects that Violet does mean, harmful things to other people, including other children, at a very young age. Fox believes that the problem is Blythe and her "lack of love" for Violet. Blythe manages to convince Fox to have another child and this time it's a boy. They name him Sam. Blythe connects with Sam instantly and becomes a completely different mother with him. This cements Blythe's belief that the problem is Violet and not herself, and it cements Fox' belief that the problem is Blythe and her lack of affection for Violet and not Violet herself.

Then, when Sam is one year old, he dies in a horrible accident. Sam's death pushes everyone to their breaking point. Blythe is destroyed emotionally and believes that Violet killed him. Fox leaves Blythe for another woman. They get shared custody of Violet. So, is Violet a child with psychopathic tendencies? Or is Violet's destructive, harmful actions simply in Violet's head because of her own trauma history? Truly an engaging read!

Wendy's Rating: ****

Assistant to the Villain by Hannah Nicole Maehrer

I decided to read this series because so many people said they liked it. This is not the series for me however, and I will not be finishing it! I could hardly get through the first 100 pages, but I like to give each book a fair shot. It takes time to build characters, relationships and a story line. Eventually I became mildly interested in Tristan and Evie's relationship, and there is an interesting twist in the story at the end that I wasn't expecting, but other than that, there is not enough to hold my interest.

I am not a huge fantasy reader, although I do love some series (like Harry Potter and Fourth Wing). I have no problem with young adult stories - or stories where the main characters are teenagers. The interactions between the characters in this book were over-the-top ridiculous though, in my opinion. When I find myself making continuous eye-rolling movements while reading, I know there is a problem.

Tristan is "the Villain". He sweeps through the town killing people who work for the King and tries to take the King's supplies. He encounters Evie one day, who has just lost her job. She is supporting her younger sister and ill father on her own since her brother died in a mysterious magical accident (caused by their mother) and her mother is gone. So, she desperately needs a new job. The Villain offers her one and she takes it. She works for the Villain each day and returns home each evening to care for her family. That's about it folks! There is your summary. Again, not for me.

Wendy's Rating: **

Typewriter Beach by Meg Waite Clayton

I'm not really sure if this is a fiction novel or a historical fiction novel. There are certainly real people named in it, and historical events, but when I googled Leon Chazan, the only thing that consistently comes up is a summary of this book! I was confused in the beginning about who everyone was and what was actually happening, to be honest. I understand that the author was "unfolding" the details in her own timeline, but I was initially lost and it took me awhile to get into the story. 

There are two time periods: 1957 and 2018. In 1957, a young actress, Isabella Giori, is sent to a cottage in Carmel-by-the-Sea. She was placed there by a Hollywood "fixer".  She wants to be the next star in an Alfred Hitchcock movie and her chances seem promising. She met with Hitchcock and his wife and they seemed to like her. But we don't really know why she is at the cottage instead of in Hollywood. Meanwhile, her next-door neighbor is "Leo", who spends his days and nights typing, which bothers Isabella because of the noise of his typing. The reader finds out he is a blacklisted screenwriter who continues to work under the radar. This is the era of McCarthyism. Although I understand what happened in Hollywood during this time, I was confused about people being sent away to secret locations (like Leo) and then either naming people who were communists or refusing to, which meant they were blacklisted. Leo refused to name anyone, so he was blacklisted, and he was living in his Carmel cottage. Since the "fixer" has set Isabella in a cottage and she has a "secret meeting" scheduled, Leo infers that she is in the same boat as he was.

Meanwhile, in 2018, Gemma Chazan, Leo's granddaughter is also a screenwriter. She comes to Carmel because Leo has died and she needs to sell his cottage. Gemma's mother died earlier and she never knew her father or grandmother. Now with Leo gone, she doesn't have any family left. She meets Isabella, and also Sam, who is staying at the cottage that Isabella once stayed in. Sam develops video games and his business partner is Mads (a female). He is staying in the cottage while working on his latest game. To add to the list of characters, there was a poet (Jeffers) who lived in Hawk Tower at Tor House in 1957 that is now deceased. His presence and/or poetry has influenced everyone else in the story.

After I figured out what was going on, and who everyone was, I quite enjoyed the unraveling of this story. There are secrets and relationships past and present that are unveiled to the reader, if not all the characters. It was a satisfying ending.

Wendy's Rating: ****

Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey

This is a combination memoir/positive affirmations book. I listened to this on audiobook and Matthew talks exactly how I would expect him to. He is a free spirit and rolls with the punches in life. He comes across as open, honest, assertive, and full of life. I have a new admiration for his wife. Ha! He can also be incredibly funny. There were a few times that I literally laughed out loud as he was sharing some of his stories.

Matthew initially thought he wanted to be an attorney. He came to acting later than a lot of people do, switching his college major from law to film. Once he started taking film classes, he ventured into acting. I was actually surprised to learn that he had a small role in Dazed and Confused and then managed to talk his way into the starring role in A Time to Kill, which was originally meant for Woody Harrelson. It's rare that a relatively unknown actor with few roles under his belt (most of them very minor) could finagle his way into a starring role - but that's exactly what he managed to do. Of course the success of this film skyrocketed Matthew to stardom.

Matthew's childhood was very interesting. You can honestly say that his parents were "spirited" people. They married each other three times and divorced each other twice. Matthew's father believed in making men of his sons, which involved physical aggression. It wouldn't be a parenting method that would work today, but it's how Matthew was raised. I would guess he didn't carry that over for raising his own children though!

Matthew spends a lot of time talking about his journey through life; his adventures to other parts of the world; his spirituality; his determination to make a "pivot" in his life when he decides he wants to do something else. He definitely has a "can do" mentality. Nothing stops him from doing what he thinks is best for him and his family. The book is filled with "Bumper Sticker slogans" and "Greenlights", which he sees as signs to move forward. Very entertaining.

Wendy's Rating: ****

The Stranger Beside Me by Ann Rule

Ann Rule, the author, was a friend of Ted Bundy, so she has a unique perspective. She met Ted when they both worked at a crisis center answering phones. He was kind, caring, supportive, and charismatic. Ann liked him very much. Ted was around 24 when they worked together. Ann was older, married, with children. She was a crime reporter and ironically, she had already been assigned to write a story on the unknown serial killer who was raping and murdering teens and young women in the Seattle area, which is where they both lived. Ann & Ted were friends for many years, even writing letters to each other until his death by lethal injection in 1989. Her feelings for Ted obviously changed over time. Initially, she didn't believe that Ted Bundy was THE Ted that was terrorizing young women in the Seattle area. The more she researched, the more she learned, the more details she uncovered, her opinion of Ted changed from "friend" to "monster". She gave him the benefit of the doubt long after I would have! Of course, as they say, hindsight is 20/20. We know a lot more now about Ted's crimes than Ann knew at the time she was writing about him. Ted finally admitted his guilt shortly before he died and provided some information and details about what he did to some women/children that were never found. It was at this time that he admitted that he started killing at the age of 15 and he had killed many, many women in several different states.

I learned a lot about Ted Bundy from reading this. I thought I knew what he had done, but for some reason, I thought it was only in Florida. He truly was a monster. What was really difficult to read about was the endless number of women who loved him, believed in him, sent him money & stamps in prison, fought for his release from prison, fought for his death sentence to be revoked. It's absolute madness. This man did despicable things to girls as young as 12 years old! He may have savagely murdered between 100-300 children, teens, young women!! Some will never be found. The number of appeals, the amount of money the State of Florida had to spend to fight Ted's appeals ($6 million back in the 1980s!), the number of people who wanted him off death row is astounding and disturbing. I know that lots of people are against the death penalty but come on. Honestly. He didn't deserve to live. At the end, he stated he didn't want to die. Really? Neither did any of the possibly hundreds of young lives he took savagely. Disgusting.

I get discouraged by our legal system when I read books like this. I can't believe how much proof it takes to take down a serial killer. Ted used the same ploy, drove the same vehicle, didn't disguise himself (other than wearing a fake mustache as times) again and again. Some women got away and reported him. They could describe him. But as with many of these crime stories, there is no communication between law enforcement agencies in different states. I sure hope that has changed! Ted managed to escape from jail twice!! When he escaped the second time, he went to Florida, used a different name, and when he was arrested there (after several more murders), the Florida authorities hadn't even heard of Ted Bundy!

This was a very detailed book and extremely interesting. I didn't want to put it down. The only thing that bothered me was how long it took Ann Rule to truly understand what a monster Ted Bundy was!

Wendy's Rating: *****

I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

The control that Jennette's mother had over Jennette was quite shocking and remarkable. Mom wanted to be an actress, failed, so forced Jennette to be an actress. Jennette's entire world was centered around her mother; what her mother wanted; what her mother wanted her to do. She was only six years old when she was forced to go to auditions. Her strengths were that she could cry on cue and she could memorize her lines very easily and quickly. Since Jennette was small in stature, she looked younger than she was. This worked to her advantage because she could get roles playing young girls at an older age and be more experienced on set. When she started to develop budding breasts as a preteen (10 or so), mom taught her how to calorie count. Mom started Jennette on the path of anorexia as a preteen. Eventually anorexia turned into binge eating, which turned into years of severe bulimia. 

Jennette's mother controlled her so completely that she was still wiping Jennette's butt after she had a BM when she was 10 years old. She was showering Jennette and giving her vaginal, rectum, and breast checks until she was 16 years old! Sometimes mom made Jennette shower with her younger brother so mom could save time with her showering process. Jennette's mom was more than the typical "stage mom". She was over-the-top on every set, every meeting, every audition. I can't believe that people let her get away with it. Jennette really didn't know life could be another way, so she just went with it. She felt the need to do everything she was told so she could earn mom's love.

Jennette's mom was diagnosed with cancer when Jennette was young, but she fought it and went into remission. Mom used her cancer story to gain sympathy at every turn. When mom's cancer returned, Jennette was devastated. What was her life without her mother? This co-dependent relationship about destroyed Jennette. Not only did she have a severe eating disorder, but she ended up with a severe drinking problem. She was on two hit shows (iCarly and Sam & Cat) on Nickelodeon, but she didn't respect her character (they were silly shows) and hated acting. Needless to say, her relationships with men were not healthy. Ironically, her closest friend ended up being her co-star on iCarly (Miranda Cosgrove).

Jennette wasn't truly able to live her life until her mother died of cancer. She spent years in therapy (finally) to work through the bulimia, addiction issues, self-worth issues. It took strength and courage to find her true self. Quitting acting also helped. I listened to this on audiobook, narrated by Jennette herself. It's a disturbing story and I would guess that Jennette will always struggle in some respect as a result of her childhood trauma.

Wendy's Rating: ****

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin

When I heard this novel was about gaming, I was skeptical that it was as good as everyone was saying it was. I have never played a video game in my life, and I have zero interest in doing so now. Well, I loved this book! 

The main characters are Sam, Sadie, and Marx. Sam & Sadie met as children in the hospital. Sam was in the hospital after a serious foot injury he received in a car accident that killed his mother. He had undergone several surgeries to try to correct the problem. He hadn't spoken to anyone since the accident (6 weeks) and spend his days playing a video game at the hospital. Sadie was visiting her sister, Alice, who had childhood cancer. Sadie joined Sam one day in the game room; Sam spoke to her; and their friendship began. Sam shut Sadie out of his life however after he found out that Sadie was getting community hours credit by spending time with him all those days at the hospital. 

Sam met Marx in college when they were assigned as roommates. Sam was the odd duck living in poverty. Marx was wealthy, handsome, kind, charming, and seemed drawn to Sam because he liked helping people who needed it. He was really Sam's only friend. One day Sam unexpectedly saw Sadie in public and called out to her. She initially ignored him, but he was persistent and she turned around to talk to him. Sam had forgiven her. Sadie was taking college classes in game coding & development. She gave Sam a game she had developed called "Solution"; he played it; and they eventually became partners in the game making business. Marx became their "manager", for all intents and purposes. The above explanation is very simplified. They story is much more detailed and engaging. These three characters, and their relationships with each other, are what drive the book. Sam & Sadie had a very contentious relationship at times. They were both extremely intelligent and talented, but they had different visions in their game development. Marx supported and loved them both. He was the calming presence in their personal and business lives.

As Sam & Sadie develop games (some highly successful and some not), their relationship goes through some rough times. Sam has always loved Sadie but never acted on it since they were business partners. Although Sadie also loved Sam, she was in an on and off relationship with her college professor, Dev, and eventually fell in love with Marx, which hit Sam incredibly hard.

As for the name of the book, and what it means, Marx explains it this way: "What is a game? It's tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow. It's the possibility of infinite rebirth, infinite redemption. The idea that if you keep playing, you could win. No loss is permanent, because nothing is permanent, ever."

This book will break your heart, but it also demonstrates the power of friendship love. It's so much more than a book about gaming.

Wendy's Rating: *****

From Here to the Great Unknown by Lisa Marie Presley & Riley Keough

I was born after the Elvis craze. I understood his significance in the music industry, his sexy rock-n-roll vibe, the popularity of his "beach movies" though. I was more familiar with the "heavy, addicted" Elvis than the young, vibrant, hip-shaking Elvis. My family is from Tennessee, and I lived in Memphis when I was a young child. I have toured Graceland. I listened to this on audiobook, which included excerpts from Lisa Marie's audiotaped notes she was using as she was writing her memoir with her daughter Riley. I definitely have a deeper understanding of how deeply dysfunctional this family was.

Since Lisa Marie has passed on, Julia Roberts read her chapters of the book. Riley read her own chapters. That took a minute for me to get used to. Knowing Julia Roberts' voice so well, it was disconcerting having her speak for Lisa Marie. And then actually hearing Lisa Marie speak on audiotape, was even more disconcerting because she has a very masculine voice and sounds nothing like Julia Roberts. Some of the audio clips were difficult to hear/understand as well, but I still think it was an important addition to this story since it's her story.

Not having an "attachment" to Elvis Presley, I was a little surprised at how moved I was by this memoir. I actually got teary-eyed a couple of times. Again and again and again we read/hear about addictions in the entertainment industry. Is this because artist's personalities make them a higher risk for addiction? There seems to be a link between artistry and mental health issues. The more "genius" someone is in their talent, the greater the risk for depression, anxiety, addiction, suicide. Elvis spent the later part of his career mired in addiction. Lisa Marie, his only child, loved him deeply, lived with him as much as she was allowed to. Elvis had no boundaries for her. No bedtimes, no restrictions, no limits. She had the run of Graceland. She was a wild, free-spirited child, whose father loved her unconditionally. After his death, she was forced to live with her mother, Priscilla, full-time (at least when she wasn't sent off to live at boarding schools, etc, which she would get kicked out of repeatedly.) Priscilla is described by both Lisa Marie and Riley as cold and impersonal, and not a mothering type. That probably explains why Priscilla and Riley seem to be having issues since Lisa Marie's death on the issue of Elvis' estate!

Lisa Marie struggled with her relationships, which isn't surprising since she never had a good role model of what a healthy relationship could look like. She loved her children, and she seemed to have a few good years when Riley & Ben were young, but she was ultimately a lost soul in the truest sense of the word. Lisa Marie succumbing to addiction and living in addiction for over a decade was heartbreaking. The death of her beloved son, Ben, by violent suicide was devastating to the entire family, but definitely something that Lisa Marie never worked through. She lived past his death, but never with a sense of peace. I really don't think there was ever true "joy" in Lisa Marie's life. Even when she had Elvis, he had a violent temper and was scary and intimidating when angry. She did love Michael Jackson, and he loved her, but in the end, he was just another man in her life trying to control her narrative. (He desperately wanted children with her, but she feared that he would control those children and her role in raising them. She was probably spot on with that assessment!)

I was emotionally impacted by this memoir, which I certainly wasn't expecting. Deeply sad and moving.

Wendy's Rating: ****

Ghosts of Honolulu by Mark Harmon & Leon Carroll Jr

This is a nonfiction book about the US Navy's counterintelligence unit in Honolulu, HI in World War II. It's written by Mark Harmon, of NCIS fame, and Leo Carroll, who is a former NCIS Special Agent. I have read a lot about Pearl Harbor and visited it several times. I used to live on Oahu as well. I also know a lot about World War II in general. I figured this book about counterintelligence would fit right in my wheelhouse. 

This book involves a lot of people, most with Japanese, Hawaiian, or German names. It was truly difficult to keep track of everyone and their roles in this historic event of the bombing of Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941. There were counterintelligence agents for the Americans, the Japanese, and the Germans. The main focus however was Douglas Wada. His story was very interesting. He was born in Hawaii, but when he was a teenager his father pretty much tricked him into "visiting" Japan. Douglas thought it was a visit, but his dad's intent was for him to stay there to learn the culture & language. He ended up finishing his education in Japan. He had a knack for languages, so by the time he escaped back to Hawaii, before he could be conscripted into the Japanese military, he was fluent in Japanese. Once the US Navy found him, they wanted him to work undercover in Naval Intelligence. They didn't necessarily want people to know he was connected to the Navy because he was very charismatic, personable, knew fluent Japanese as spoken in Japan, so they wanted to use him to translate wiretaps of the Japanese Consulate, gather information on the streets as a reporter, and interrogate a POW captured in Honolulu.

The book also explains how the Japanese Americans living in Hawaii and California at the time of Pearl Harbor were treated. One thing I didn't realize before reading this book is that the Japanese Americans living in and around California are the people who ended up in the internment camps in the US. The Japanese Americans living in Hawaii, like Douglas Wada's family and friends, were affected (ie their shrines being shut down, etc), but they were not sent to camps as POWs.

Although we learn all about Douglas Wada, his childhood, family, and career with Naval Intelligence, I wouldn't classify it as a narrative. Like I said earlier, it was hard to keep track of everyone. There was a point when I stopped trying to remember who everyone was and just kept track of the key people, especially those associated with Douglas.

Wendy's Rating: ***1/2

The Mother Next Door by Andrea Dunlop & Mike Weber

This is a nonfiction account of Munchausen by Proxy. It details the investigations into three different cases of mother's inflicting harm on their children for attention: Hope Ybarra, Brittany Philips, and Mary Welch. Andrea Dunlop is a novelist whose own family has been affected by MBP, through her sister. Mike Weber is a detective who has become an expert in MBP simply by spending years investigating these incredibly challenging cases. He has worked on more medical child abuse cases than anyone in the US. Although I knew about Munchausen by Proxy long before MBP victim Gypsy Rose Blanchard became a household name after she was charged and convicted of killing her mother, I didn't realize how many similarities there are between cases. I also had no idea that doctors will perform surgeries based on a mother's report, without doing any extra testing themselves. It's astounding really.

Just like police officers need to be trained in how to deescalate people having a mental health crisis, doctors should be trained to spot medical child abuse, especially since there seems to be a pattern in many cases. Hope, Brittany, and Mary all had children that were born premature. These poor children had multiple unnecessary tests, inconsistently abnormal labs, medical diagnoses (like cystic fibrosis and cerebral palsy) simply reported by their mother, feeding tubes, rare blood infections, leg braces. In all of these cases the children's eating issues and mobility issues were reported by their mothers but were not witnessed by anyone else. In fact, many friends, family members, and even nurses saw these children eating normally when mom was not in the room and walking/running with no issues at all.

All three of these cases were very challenging to bring to court. Both Hope and Mary were well-loved, intelligent, and wealthy. Mike Weber tried a number of ways to get these woman to admit what they had done. He had better luck with Hope, probably because her mother was the one who reported her and found some evidence that she turned over to Mike. Hope's story was actually quite remarkable since she was such an accomplished liar. She lied about her own health for eight years, pretending to have various types of cancer. This resulted in fundraising efforts by family and friends that raised an enormous amount of money. Hope lied about her education and her credentials. She lied about miscarrying twin daughters. She lied about her first daughter (second child) having CF. Her youngest child suffered the most however. Hope introduced bacteria and contagions in her feeding tube (which she didn't need) which could have easily killed her. Hope did end up in prison for 10 years. 

Mary was extremely wealthy (with money to burn) so she could afford to get her son medical care in Texas and Minnesota. When the Texas doctors told her that her son did not need a brain shunt, she simply got on a private plane and flew him to Minnesota to get it done. And she found a doctor to do it, taking her word for it! Mary fooled doctors, friends, her family, lawyers, and the judge! She was pretty and personable and wealthy. Money talks, right? Her mother protected her 100% and spent all her energy blaming Mary's ex-husband for everything, who was naive and innocent. He temporarily got custody, which probably ended up saving his son's life, although Mary won back joint custody in the end.

Brittany's case was different because she was not well-liked, respected, or wealthy. She had no supportive family or husband. She was verbally and physically abusive to her three year old daughter, Alyssa, in front of other people. She was reported to CPS several times by a variety of different people. Her daughter was finally taken away from her and put into a foster home after it was discovered that Brittany put feces in her daughter's (unnecessary) feeding tube which gave her a life-threatening blood infection. Her trial ended up with a hung jury (10 guilty - 1 not guilty - some people cannot believe that a mother would intentionally harm their child). Eventually Brittany pleaded guilty instead of going back to trial but she only served five years. Alyssa thrived in the care of her foster family, who ended up adopting her.

These women knew what they were doing. They were not "delusional". They were constantly seeking the attention they craved (and received) while caring for their "deeply ill" children. Both Hope and Mary's husbands believed their children were as sick as their wives told them they were. MBP continues to be under-reported and very difficult to prove. It's incredibly tragic.

Wendy's Rating: ****

The God of the Woods by Liz Moore

I loved this book. There are several narrators: Louise, camp counselor; Tracy, camper; Alice, mother of Barbara; Jacob, accused and convicted murderer; Carl, gardener of the Van Laar Preserve; Judyta, BCI Investigator; and Victor, Director of Camp Emerson. The story alternates from the 1950s to 1961 to Winter 1973 to June 1975 to July 1975 to August 1975. There are other key characters (Barbara, TJ, Bear, three Peters, Delphine, John Paul), but we learn about them from someone else's perspective. The way the story is interwoven between timelines makes the story even more fast-paced.

The central family of this story is the Van Laars. Peter Van Laar 1 bought the land on which the homestead is built. By all accounts, he was a kind and generous man. He cared about the land and about people. The homestead was named Self-Reliance. Camp Emerson was developed on part of the Van Laar Preserve so that children could spend two months of their summer learning the land and how to survive on it. Peter Van Laar 2 didn't quite have the same vision. He was more controlling and domineering and wasn't necessarily well-liked. Peter Van Laar 3 was handsome and charming, but pretty much a jerk. When he was 29 years old, he chose to marry Alice, who was only 17 years old when they met. She was pretty and malleable. Just what he wanted in a wife. He wanted a son, which she promptly delivered (Peter Van Laar 4, but called Bear) and then he told Alice that they would not be having any more children. That was pretty much their relationship. The only thing they had in common was their love of Bear.

Bear was an adventurous and spirited child that was loved by everyone at Self-Reliance, including all the staff. He tragically disappeared when he was 8 years old, after he went for a walk with his grandfather, Peter 2. Carl, the gardener, was eventually accused of killing Bear, even though Bear was never found. Peter 3 and Alice end up having another child after Bear's disappearance. They named her Barbara. Barbara's parents weren't overly invested or engaged in her life. She was a difficult child, which made things worse. Victor Hewitt's daughter, TJ Hewitt, took over as the Director of Camp Emerson after her father could no longer handle the responsibility as he aged. TJ also took over as Barbara's "mother figure", since Alice was never the same after Bear disappeared.

Barbara declared to Alice in the summer of 1975 that she wanted to attend Camp Emerson as a camper. She befriended Tracy, who was new to the camp and was struggling with her own family life (parent's divorce, dad's new girlfriend, etc.) One morning, Tracy woke up and Barbara was gone. Louise was the camp counselor responsible for the girls in Barbara & Tracy's cabin, and she had left them unattended for part of the night. That's when Judyta joins the story, as one of the investigators who arrives at the Van Laar Preserve to find Barbara, or at least figure out what happened to her.

Despite the number of characters, the story is well-written and easy to follow, even considering the jumping around in timelines. I really enjoyed the ride.

Wendy's Rating: *****

I'll Be Gone in the Dark by Michelle McNamara

I've always been interested in the investigation of cold cases. It's astounding that people can get away with murder, especially with today's science and technology. This book details true crime journalist Michelle McNamara's deep dive into the "Golden State Killer", aka the "EAR" (East Area Rapist), aka the "Original Night Stalker". This unknown individual raped over 50 women and killed 13 people in the 1970s-1980s across California without ever being caught. It's truly remarkable. This rapist/murderer also burglarized 120 homes during his crime spree, taking random and often personal items from homes and the people he attacked. He would leave a lot of these items at other crime scenes, or simply in other random places. He had a distinct look (although he was usually seen with a ski mask covering his face), a distinct voice, and a distinct penis. It was reported by his surviving victims that he was fairly routine in how he exhibited his crimes. He scoped out people and homes for weeks at a time, ran through people's back yards, looked into windows, called his victims on the phone, left over 50 people alive, but was not caught until 2018!! That's absolutely crazy.

It's safe to say that Michelle was pretty much obsessed with her self-appointed task of tracking down this killer. She worked steadily on it for years, talking to dozens of people, scouring thousands of documents, traveling to crime scenes, developing a number of profiles, in her search for this man. She unexpectedly died before finishing her mission, and interestingly enough, the actual killer was not even on her radar. She mentions a ton of possible suspects in this investigative work, but Joseph James DeAngelo, the actual rapist/killer, was not ever named as a suspect in any file, interview, or documentation. Michelle died in 2016. DeAngelo was apprehended in 2018. Each of the suspects that Michelle focused on was eliminated through DNA analysis. After each elimination, she would have to go back to the drawing board. Michelle was definitely on the right track however. She suspected that the rapist/killer lived in the Visalia and Rancho Cordova areas, and she was correct. She suspected that he may have been associated with the military, which he was. He was in the US Navy during Vietnam War and he was a police officer. But, apparently his DNA was not in any sort of data base. Again, remarkable.

Michelle was very detail oriented and extremely personable, focused, and determined. This book, and the way it's laid out, is very engaging and readable. Since she died before it was finished, her notes and transcripts were used to finish it for publication. She was married to comedian Patton Oswalt and all I could think was, "he is a very supportive and patient man"! Not everyone could be married to someone so driven to find the truth! If you are a true crime fan that enjoys the investigative process, this is the book for you.

Wendy's Rating: *****

Night by Elie Wiesel

This is a powerful testament to the horrors of the Holocaust. I listened to it on audiobook. This is a translation by Elie's wife, so it feels like an authentic expression of Elie's words as he explains what happened to him and his family when they were taken in the last transport out of his town during WWII. Elie and his father were separated from his mother and younger sister at the start. Elie and his father were sent to Auschwitz. Elie was only a teenager. Although I have read many, many books about the Holocaust, to listen to a first-person account is impactful.

One thing that struck me again and again is how many last second decisions people made that could either save their life or end their life. Since the prisoners never knew what the intent of a SS officer was, it was challenging to figure out what "line" they should be in. Which one was going to the crematorium and which one was going to another camp or another work detail? There was a point towards the end of the war when Elie's father was selected to go to the crematorium and Elie panicked, rushing toward his father's "line", which created chaos amongst the prisoners and SS officers, and as the officers were trying to get everyone back in the appropriate line, Elie managed to bring his dad with him. I'm not sure he could have gotten away with that earlier in their time at the camp, but it worked at this stage of the war. Many times they had no idea what they should hope for, having no idea if it was the right decision until the choice was made - either by them or someone else. People would whisper in Elie's ear what Elie should do in any given situation, but Elie didn't necessarily know if the person was trying to educate him and help him (because they had been there longer) or if the person was simply wanting him to do something to eliminate Elie so there was more room or food for himself. What a burden to lay on the shoulders of a teenager who desperately tried to protect his father and keep him alive.

The cruelty of humans against humans is astounding and deeply unsettling. It's unimaginable  how so many Nazis could find it within themselves to routinely starve and beat innocent men, women and children to death - people that were simply people living their own lives. These were not "enemies" fighting a battle against their oppressors. I know a lot of people that don't want to read any more stories about the Holocaust, but I believe that this is a part of history that should never be forgotten. I think this book should be required reading in our high schools. Our centered-around-self youth should gain a different perspective about what's important in life, especially since the Jewish people continue to be oppressed even today.

Wendy's Rating: *****

Getting Naked by Valerie Bertinelli

I listened to this on audiobook. I have always loved Valerie Bertinelli's spirit, kindness, and sense of humor that she has portrayed in her TV series', including her cooking show. She comes across as positive, encouraging, and friendly. Consistently, she's the same way in this book. It's more of a self-help book than a memoir, but she does talk about her career and personal life at times. It's more about how she has changed and grown as a person however.

I think her message is an important one for all people who believe the road to happiness is being "perfect" in others' eyes. People have always been cruel to each other, commenting on someone's looks or weight or the way they wear their hair or the clothes they wear. But with the introduction of all the social media platforms, it's become a societal nightmare. The judgments, the critiques, the assumptions and presumptions, the hurtful comments. Why?? Why do people want to drag other people down rather than build them up? The easy answer is: they are insecure. Valerie talks about her own insecurities, but the only person she has repeatedly beaten up on is herself. The pressure to be "perfect" is real. I grew up with similar expectations, which I am just now coming to terms with myself.

After 60+ years of thinking a certain way, it's difficult to change a thought process. I love how she stopped thinking of "dieting" and started simply eating healthier and not stepping on the scale every morning. She stopped drinking alcohol since she was using it as a coping tool. She started walking every day with her dog, which is good for her and her dog. She is making lifestyle changes for the right reasons and has stopped holding herself hostage to the idea of being "perfect". It's a lesson that I need to learn as well. I love her positive attitude and her openness about moving forward and not letting the past dictate who she is.

Wendy's Rating: ****

My Name is Barbra by Barbra Streisand

Wow! I listened to this on audiobook and it's whopping 48 hours long! Most memoirs are 6-11 hours long. So this is an investment of time. First of all, I love Barbra Streisand and I always have, ever since I first watched What's Up Doc back in the 1970s when I was a young teen. Then when I was introduced to her music from Funny Girl (1968), I fell in love with her voice. She has always been my favorite artist because of her immense talent (singing, acting, directing), but after listening to her memoir about her childhood and rise to stardom; her innate sense of artistry; her ability to sketch scenes the way she sees them in her head; her ability to improv a conversation so that it matches the emotions of the scene; her ability to "see" and "feel" the character she is portraying; is phenomenal. She is so detail-oriented that she knows what lighting she wants for each scene of a movie. She likes to do as few takes as possible so that a scene is the most authentic that it can be (vs. coming across as over-rehearsed). 

The book details how she got her start when she was a teenager living in Brooklyn, NY. Her dad died tragically when she was young, so she lived with her unsupportive, negative mother and a jerk of a step-father (part of that time). She wanted to be famous for her acting. Her voice was an afterthought. She got her first gig singing at a night club however, and it's that voice that propelled her to stardom. She was cast in Funny Girl as an "unknown" and the rest, as they say, is history. This part of the book details her experiences in Funny Girl on Broadway and in London, and also the making of the movie (very detailed); Hello Dolly (detailed); On a Clear Day You Can See Forever (briefly); The Owl and the Pussycat (very briefly); What's Up Doc? (detailed); Up the Sandbox (very detailed); The Way We Were (very detailed); For Pete's Sake (very briefly); Funny Lady (somewhat detailed); A Star is Born (very detailed); The Main Event (detailed); All Night Long (mentioned); and Yentl (very, very detailed!) She talks about her co-stars, producers, directors, camera people, lighting people, art people, set people, musicians, lyricists, composers, and every other person associated with a production. It's absolutely fascinating. 

She is so detailed in her descriptions that I rented Funny Girl from Prime video after I listened to that detailed chapter to see what she was talking about. I studied the characters, the lighting, scenes, the clothing, etc. She insisted on singing one of the songs live while filming the movie (which was unheard of) because she wanted her emotions at the time of the filming to match the song. I watched clips of Hello Dolly, The Way We Were, and A Star is Born after reading about the production of those movies and her co-stars. I was completely blown away that Walter Matthau was her co-star in Hello Dolly! I think of him as a slob in The Odd Couple and a grumpy old man in Grumpy Old Men - not as a co-star to Barbra Streisand! (It didn't go well, by the way. He was a total jerk to her.) I was happy to read that she worked well with Omar Sharif, Ryan O'Neal and Robert Redford however. 

That brings me to Yentl. I loved the movie when I first saw it. Now I love it more. She talks about wanting Richard Gere to play Avigdor but she ended up with a 29 year old Mandy Patinkin (she was 10 years older than him) as her co-star. I love Mandy Patinkin. It's been so long since I originally saw the movie in theaters (1983) that I didn't even realize that Avigdor was played by Mandy! I love his acting and I love his voice. So imagine my deep, deep disappointment when I found out that Barbra had a very difficult time with him as her co-star. He didn't want to take direction from Barbra; was hot-headed; restless; difficult. Sadness set in. Since then, I have watched Yentl six times to study all the things she talked about. Here is my final analysis: This movie is absolutely wonderful. I love it. The way it was written, directed, filmed, edited, the music - fabulous. There is no way you could tell that the two leads didn't like each other. That's impressive acting. (Like Richard Gere and Debra Winger in An Officer and a Gentleman.)

More movies she talks about in depth are A Mirror Has Two Faces, The Prince of Tides, and Nuts. A Mirror Has Two Faces was already a favorite of mine and I have seen it several times. Of course I watched it again to study the details that she wrote about it. I was thrilled that Jeff Bridges was wonderful to work with because I have always liked him. Her co-stars in The Prince of Tides were Nick Nolte and her own son, Jason. She talks about her relationship with the author Pat Conroy and how she condensed his long book into a wonderful screenplay. I managed to find this to watch again as well. Nuts starred Richard Dreyfus. I haven't to re-watched this movie yet, but definitely plan to.

The last quarter of the book she talks a lot about politics, friendships, her music and performances, her son (Jason Gould), husband (James Brolin), and even her beloved dogs. One comment she makes towards the end of her narrative is about perfectionism. She doesn't consider herself a perfectionist; she simply strives for excellence. Well said.

The most wonderful thing about listening to this on audiobook: Barbra includes video clips of some of the songs she sings! I am pretty much obsessed with this book.

Wendy's Rating: *****

Theo of Golden by Allen Levi

I am definitely leery about reading books that everyone else "LOVES" because I have too high of expectations and then I am disappointed when I actually read the book. This is not the case with Theo of Golden. This is a beautifully written character-driven narrative.  No one knows who Theo is, or even what his last name is, but you don't need to. Theo comes to the town of Golden, Georgia from New York. He is an elderly gentleman (86) who only stays in Golden for about a year. (That's referenced a few times, but you don't know why he's there and why he leaves after a year.) Theo is a refined gentleman who values art of all types: books, paintings, architecture, music. He is a great listener, accepts everyone for who they are, and is kind & empathetic to all.

When Theo arrives in town, he locates an apartment to rent in a building owned by the town lawyer. It overlooks the town square. Theo stops in at the local coffee shop and is intrigued by all of the hand-drawn portraits displayed on all the walls (over 90 of them). The portraits are for sale (at a pretty low price so that people can afford them), and the portraits are of people who live in Golden. He discovers that they were drawn by a local artist. He is drawn to them (no pun intended!) because of the details of their faces, especially the eyes (the eyes are the windows of the soul, so to speak). He decides to start buying them and inviting the person whose portrait he buys to meet him in the square so he can "gift" them their own portrait. In the process of meeting them, he invites them into his world. He asks them questions about their lives and really builds relationships with many of the recipients from these encounters.

As the months go by, he establishes a core group of friends. They are people from all walks of life. They are different ages; have different interests; are different nationalities; one of the women he befriends (Ellen) is homeless. He is gentle, kind, supportive, non-judgmental...and incredibly secretive. The only person in town that knows anything about him is the lawyer, Mr. Ponder, since Theo retained him as an attorney when he came to town. Mr. Ponder wasn't actually taking any new clients when Theo approached him, but Theo is quite persuasive.

As the story progresses, we learn about the lives of this core group, and a little of Theo's past life (like he had a daughter who died in a car accident who he still mourns). This group starts supporting each other; sharing meals together; coming together to celebrate each other's successes; offering support during the hard times. The book simply flows. I can't describe it any better. You don't find out why Theo chose Golden - and how it all connects - until the very end. It's a heartwarming story about kindness and living a purpose-filled life. I really loved it - just like everyone else! Ha!

Wendy's Rating: *****

Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe

I have owned this book for many, many years, but had never actually read it. So it was time. Since it was published in 1719, the language used and the writing style made this a slow read. My copy of the book had 397 pages and it felt like 1397. The first half of the book went faster for me because it details Crusoe's life before the shipwreck that strands him on the deserted island, and the 28 years he spent on the island. I enjoyed reading about his ingenuity for surviving on the island. Fortunately, the ship that was wrecked - causing everyone else to die - was initially accessible to Crusoe. He was able to get supplies, tools, weapons, food, clothing, etc. off of the ship before it shifted and sank. He was able to build a crude home for protection and hunt for food. As the years went by, and with all the time in the world, he became really creative in making tools, carving canoes out of tree trunks, weaving baskets, capturing baby goats which became his own personal herd so he had food, milk, cheese and didn't have to use his dwindling ammunition to shoot animals to eat. He also grew his own crops (grain and corn), which he discovered after he emptied out a container from the ship and there happened to be some seeds at the bottom. Over time, he realized what it was and he was able to plant seasonally and taught himself how to make a sort of bread (without yeast of course.)

While there were no wild animals that preyed on him on this island, there were "savages" who came to the island in their canoes to celebrate their battle wins by eating their prisoners. Yes, they were cannibals. There were different tribes (always fighting each other) that would show up on different sides of the island. They would stay to eat their prisoners and then leave. They had no idea that Crusoe lived on the island. He didn't know about them either for a long time. He had already fortified his home(s) so they were not easily seen, but as the years went on, the area surrounding his primary home was nearly impenetrable due to the thick foliage surrounding it. Eventually he saved some escaped prisoners who stayed extremely loyal to him from then on. One was a boy he named Friday. Then there were a group of Spaniards. Then Friday's father. When he finally was given an opportunity to leave the island, he took Friday with him and left the others there to maintain the goat herd, the crops, the homes, etc. It really surprised me when the story didn't end there! But no, all this happened, described in a very detailed account, in less than half the book.

The next 200+ pages described his further travels, worldwide. The various ships he traveled on, the countries he visited, the tragic encounters, the people he met. He actually married at one point and had a couple of kids, but after his wife died, he simply left the kids (somewhere?) to resume his travels. There were long sections about religion (paganism vs. Catholicism vs. Protestantism); a long journey over land (including Siberia); death, including a massacre; pirates; revisiting his island, which was now quite populated - which was also explained in detail; endless conversations with a variety of people. On and on and on. The last 50 pages were truly a struggle to get through! I pushed through but if the book had ended at page 189, I would have given it 4 stars. The rest of the book dropped it to a 3-star read for me. To give you some indication, Crusoe originally left his father's home as a teenager and he spent 28 years on the island. The book ended (finally!) when he was 72. It was a long, eventful life, I will certainly give him that!

Wendy's Rating: ***

Spare by Prince Harry

I listened to this on audiobook, read by Prince Harry. I have a deeper understanding of Prince Harry's decision to leave Royal life after reading this. I also understand why security for his family is so important to him, beyond what happened to his mother at the hands of the paparazzi. Thirdly, the fact that the media simply makes things up for the sensationalism of it all is driven home in this book. Anything to sell their story. After finishing this book, I started My Name is Barbra and Barbra Streisand says the exact same thing as Prince Harry on this subject in her Prologue! I think there is a difference between someone whose goal was to "be a star" vs. someone like Prince Harry who was simply born into it, however.

Prince Harry has a significant trauma history that he continues to battle. Even before Princess Diana died, his father's jokes about his true paternity and Harry being the second born (the spare) were engrained deeply into his soul. On top of that, he shoved his feelings inside and just kept pressing on. After his mother died, there were people who loved him of course, but he was not shown affection like his mother had shown him. The Royal family is hardcore. No demonstrations of affection at any level. He never hugged his grandmother, Queen Elizabeth. It wasn't allowed. What a lonely existence.

Being second born, and with Prince William marrying Kate Middleton and starting a family, he continually dropped down the line of succession. He wasn't a good student (basically had no interest in the classroom), so he wasn't sure what to do with his life. He and his father decided that the Army would be best for him. He eventually learned how to fly an Apache helicopter, which is a complicated piece of aircraft. He thrived in the Army, but was called out suddenly, more than once, since he became a target for the enemy (he was in Afghanistan), putting himself and his unit in danger since there was such a high price on his head. He was not allowed to return after his second (shortened) deployment.

Harry did have two significant relationships before Meghan Markle: Chelsy Davy and Cressida Bonas. Neither were overly impressed or invested in him as a Royal, which is what Harry really loved about them. Unfortunately, the paparazzi harassed them, their friends, their family endlessly. No sane person wants to live that way, including them. When he met Meghan Markle, it was pretty much love at first sight. The paparazzi and the stories circulating in the media (some made up; some derogatory; some a result of betrayal) caused Meghan to consider suicide at one point. They really didn't have support from the Crown, who just wanted them to stay quiet and toe the line. It's incredibly sad. Prince Harry's actions and feelings since childhood are a reflection of how lost he really was.

Royal life would be a difficult life. What I want to say to all of them is this: "View the situation from a different perspective." Perspective-taking is key. Prince Harry is so focused on the lack of support shown him and his inability to get what he wanted (1/2-year Royal life in England; 1/2-year in a different country) that he loses sight of what life has been like for Prince William since birth. Prince William comes across as angry and unsupportive in this book, but his life has to be super challenging. As heir to the throne, he doesn't have a choice in anything at all. His wife doesn't either. They have to meet certain (high) standards set by the Queen/King. Harry can't seem to acknowledge that. Harry was allowed to "run free" and do all sorts of questionable things. William could never be free to do anything that would potentially hurt the image of the Royal family. I totally understand why William would be upset with Harry. On the other hand, Harry has a right to security. He has been a "target" his entire life and now with a wife and two young children to protect, his family should step up and help protect them. That's what families do. It's quite tragic. Hopefully Kate Middleton will change the Monarchy is ways that Diana was ultimately not able to. Kate can finish what Diana started.

Wendy's Rating: ****

Paris by Paris Hilton

I listened to this on Audiobook. It was read by Paris Hilton. People's personas on social media can be very different than the person behind the persona. I didn't have any particular interest in Paris Hilton before reading this, but her experiences pretty much shocked me. Paris doesn't present herself in this book any other way than what she is. She is privileged from a wealthy family. She is also a hard worker, which appears to be the case for every generation of her family. She is open and unapologetic about the challenge she was to her parents as a young teenager, who were very strict. She rebelled against that strictness in a very public way. That's the Paris Hilton I know from her antics being presented in the media. I also remember her from her show with Nicole Richie, which I never really watched, figuring it was silly.

So here is what I didn't know - and what the family didn't want anyone to know: Paris' parents sent her away for two years to Provo Canyon School in Utah, which was a "school" for troubled teens. Her parents told everyone else that she was in London. As an adult, Paris has fought to shut down Provo and other "schools" like Provo because of the intense abuse suffered by the children who have been forced to attend them. To be fair to Paris' parents, Provo was presented as something entirely different than how it was actually run. Paris begged her parents to take her out of Provo and made several attempts to escape it. She was always caught and forced to return - sometimes being turned in by her family. They simply didn't know what was going on. Paris tried to tell them, but having a "wild child" complaining about a school setting isn't likely to be believed by anyone. It's like the little boy who cried wolf once too often. Paris also grew up with undiagnosed ADHD, so that didn't help her behaviors.

With that being said, Paris was tormented and abused at Provo, along with everyone else who was there. They were taught to degrade and humiliate each other - oftentimes for several hours at a time. Trust was non-existent. There were times that Paris trusted other "students" who turned her in. There were other times that other "students" tricked her into thinking they wanted to escape too, but these were often attempts to turn the focus from themselves onto Paris, who would then be punished for it. Interestingly, Paris doesn't necessarily blame her parents for sending her to Provo since she accepts that they didn't honestly know what happened there. They believed they were doing the right thing, since she was out-of-control and they didn't want to "lose" her. She seems to definitely suffer from PTSD however, and I'm not sure her relationship with her mother will ever be 100% healthy. Her mother really doesn't seem to be comfortable talking about hard things in life. She's a "sweep it under the rug" and hope it goes away kind of person. According to her, their family needs to behave a certain way and be presented a certain way and anything less than that is unacceptable.

This memoir is well written and really demonstrates Paris' determination, intelligence, and limitless strength to push through, no matter what.

Wendy's Rating: ****

Sociopath by Patric Gagne

This was a very informational memoir. Since I work in the field of mental health, I found this first-person narrative of what it's like living with sociopathy very enlightening. I also liked learning the differences between sociopathy, psychopathy, and antisocial personality disorder. The majority of people use these three diagnoses interchangeably, which is understandable since the DSM-5 does not include sociopathy or psychopathy as standalone diagnoses.

Patric knew she was different from other kids at a very young age. She didn't experience any emotions like the people around her. She didn't feel guilty for hurting someone or doing something bad. She had no sense of remorse. This is one of the key symptoms of this diagnosis of course, but it was interesting when Patric explained that she felt something build up inside her that could only be released if she did something bad. Doing bad things allowed her to "feel" something, so that's why she did the things she did: breaking into homes, stealing things, stabbing a classmate in the neck with a pencil, and when she got older, stealing cars. Otherwise, she felt nothing.

Patric had to do a lot of her own research to understand sociopathy. She tried hard to maintain relationships with people she cared about, especially her mother, sister and her childhood friend/future husband, David. These are the people who seemed to accept her for who she was (for the most part.) Even though she may not experience "love" like the average person does, she does love people in her life. She certainly didn't want to lose them. I had a more difficult time understanding her relationship with her father. He pretty much forced her into the music industry (as a manager), but she ended up being really good at it. If you take away feelings like fear, guilt and empathy, you can be very successful in a ruthless business, which the music industry is. So, she became quite successful at it, even though she didn't necessary want to do it and eventually quit.

Patric's mission was to understand and accept herself and to live in this acceptance fully. She found herself always trying to mimic what other people did in specific situations so that she would fit in. With that being said, a lot of us do that! I did it myself for at least two decades of my life, so you don't have to be a sociopath to live in a way you think you should, rather than how you want. Honestly, I think that's human nature. I learned a lot however, and I'm glad that Patric was able to find acceptance and happiness with her husband and sons.

Wendy's Rating: ****

Code Name Helene by Ariel Lawhon

I really loved this book, maybe even more than The Frozen River. This is a historical fiction novel. Nancy Wake is Australian, but living in Paris. She is bold and fearless, and I admire her guts and determination. She doesn't let anything or anyone stop her from what she wants to do, or believes that she needs to do. Nancy is a journalist for Hearst, a job she got by bluffing her way into it. In the early 1930s, Nancy was sent by Hearst to interview Hitler, who was the German chancellor in Vienna at the time. In 1936, Nancy and her cameraman, Frank, are in Berlin and they witness a woman tied to a waterwheel being whipped again and again because she is Jewish. This is Nancy's first encounter with Obersturmfuhrer Wolff, who is known for his whip and his cruelty. I don't think Nancy hates anyone more than she hates this man/Nazi.

Also in 1936, Nancy meets Henri Fiocca, a wealthy industrialist. Her friend, Stephanie, defines Henri as, "the most notorious heartbreaker in all of France." Well, Henri sets his eyes on Nancy (and loves her laugh) and his gaze never leaves her. He is very attractive and Nancy is wary of his attention, especially because of his reputation. He wears her down however and they end up being the loves of each other's lives. Henri is an extremely supportive husband, even though he fears for Nancy's life and never knows if she will return to him after her missions for the French Resistance. Henri's father doesn't like this brash Australian at all, so they definitely don't have family support. Henri's father wants Henri to marry Marceline, a beautiful Frenchwoman who desperately wants Henri (or at least his money), but Henri is certainly not interested. A little foreshadowing: this poses a severe problem in the future.

The story alternates between time periods (between the years 1936-1944) and narrators (Nancy and Henri), and various places that Nancy and Henri find themselves. Nancy has four code names: "Madame Andree", "Lucienne Carlier", "Helene", and "The White Mouse". Nancy works with a variety of people (mostly men) and groups. In all situations she presents herself as a leader and people come to respect her as such. So, does it get confusing? Yes. It certainly does get confusing with all of the jumping around in time. On top of that, Nancy is not the only person using a code name! The reader does not always know that someone she meets in 1939 is the same person she is working with in 1944 because he is using a different name. Surprise!

I love reading books about strong women, especially when they actually existed. Nancy Wake was one exceptional woman. Well worth the read.

Wendy's Rating: *****

Know My Name by Chanel Miller

I listened to this on audiobook, read by the author. First of all, Chanel Miller is a really talented writer. Her writing style is very engaging. This is a memoir about her experience being sexually assaulted on the Stanford University campus one night when she attended a frat party with her younger sister. It exposes the injustices of our legal system, which always seems to rule in the favor of wealth and status. I have to hope and pray that the tide will swing the other way one day, toward justice for the victims, regardless of their financial status.

Chanel Miller was known as "Emily Doe" until 2019. Her assault happened in 2015. It seemed to be a "slam dunk" case. Two Swedish men on bicycles saw her being assaulted, while unconscious, and caught the man after he ran from the scene and they called the police. Chanel was laying on the ground behind a dumpster, naked from the waist down, one breast hanging out, unresponsive. So, there were eye witnesses, DNA, the perpetrator running from the scene, and yet it took 15 months in the court system before the assaulter, Brock Turner, was found guilty of three felony offenses. Despite all the evidence, and the conviction, Brock was only given six months in the county jail (only three months for good behavior), because his family was wealthy and he was a star swimmer with a great scholarship. By the time this case was argued in court, Brock was declaring that the sexual encounter was consensual, and all of his character witnesses gave glowing reports of what a wonderful person he was. Of course, none of them had ever hung out with him while he was drinking heavily at a frat party.

Meanwhile, they painted Chanel as a black-out drunk who was promiscuous and a party animal. She was hammered away by the defense attorney about every minute detail of the day and night. Where did she have dinner? What did she have to eat? What time? How much? Why did she go to the party? Did she want to? Who did she go with? What time? What did she drink at dinner? How much? What time? And on and on and on. It was endless. And this was when she finally got to court! There was delay after delay, which put her life on hold, as well as her sister's life, who kept having to reschedule her life because of rescheduled court appearances. 

The turning point was when Chanel was not allowed to read her entire victim impact statement in court because it was too long. She was asked if it was okay to post the statement on BuzzFeed, and she said yes, because why not? She was disillusioned and angry and discouraged. Well the victim impact statement went viral, viewed by 11 million people in four days. It resulted in changes in California law and the recall of the judge who oversaw the case. Chanel reads her entire statement at the end of her book. It's extremely well-written and obviously very powerful. Highly recommend!

Wendy's Rating: *****

Dead Wake by Erik Larson

I listened to this via audiobook. I am a fan of Erik Larson. He does thorough research on his topic (a lot of his books are set in times of war) and presents the facts in an engaging and informative way. He includes what's going on with other key people at the time of the event(s), including personal information on their relationships at the time and/or their emotional frame of mind. I think this always adds to the story and helps to create a "bigger picture" of the era.

Dead Wake is about the sinking of the Lusitania in May 1915 during WWI. It was sunk by one torpedo that was fired by a German U-boat, whose captain, Walther Schwieger, was one of the deadliest captains the Germans had at the time. Schwieger only cared about the tonnage that he could sink. The greater the tonnage of the boat, the higher the honor. Since the Lusitania was a passenger cruise liner, with 2,000 passengers and crew on board, this was definitely a new "low" by the hands of the Germans.

The Lusitania was the fastest liner in service at the time. It could travel up to 26 knots, which is much faster than a U-boat could ever move. U-boats moved around 9 knots. So even though the Lusitania was traveling through an area where U-boats were known to be present, most people, including Captain William Thomas Turner, believed that it could flee the danger of an U-boat. Yep. And..... the Titanic was considered "unsinkable".

So, the Titanic sunk in 1912 and the industry made significant changes so that this type of event would not ever happen again. The Lusitania had plenty of lifeboats and lifejackets on board - enough for every person on board. They also trained the crew to handle the two different types of lifeboats on board, including regular drills. BUT, they didn't instruct the passengers on emergency procedures; didn't assign boats/locations for the passengers to go to in an emergency; didn't even instruct the passengers how to correctly put on their lifejackets. These facts became issues that compounded the problem of course. It also hurt deeply that the crew members that were trained in how to manage the lifeboats were mostly killed by the torpedo blast, since the torpedo landed in their section of the boat.

This was a chain reaction of unfortunate timing, from beginning to end. The Lusitania left England late; the Lusitania couldn't travel as fast as it normally could because management of the Cunard Line told Captain Turner to only use three of the four funnels; since there was no sonar at the time, a deep fog had the Lusitania traveling slower during parts of the journey and it ended up over 12 miles from the coast as they approached Liverpool instead of the normal 1 mile or so; the evaporation of the fog was advantageous to the U-boats in the area since now they could see other boats in the area; Schwieger miscalculated the speed of the Lusitania and aimed the torpedo according to his calculations of the ship going faster than it actually was, so the torpedo hit a spot that actually sunk the entire ship in a matter of minutes. If he had known the ship was going only 18 knots, the torpedo would have hit a part of the ship that allowed people to use the lifeboats, etc.

The reader also learns about President Wilson's emotional state at this time (the death of his wife); how deeply Wilson felt about the USA staying out of WWI; "Room 40" which was a top secret British intelligence site that intercepted German radio transmissions; all the known movements of the German U-boats in the area and other sinkings of boats at the time that no one shared with Captain Turner. So much information.

The conspiracy theorists believe that Britain allowed the Lusitania to be torpedoed simply to get the USA involved in the war. Britain was losing the war at this point and they needed the USA to step up. I would certainly hope that is a false theory. Such a tragedy.

Wendy's Rating: *****

Keeper of the Lost Cities: Nightfall by Shannon Messenger

This is the 6th book of this series. I think I was experiencing "series fatigue" in this book. I found myself being irritated with Sophie for focusing on her human parents after they were kidnapped by the Neverseen. Why wouldn't she be focused on them? She loved them. I found myself just wanting her to move on and focus on the "big picture" problem. Very insensitive of me. Part of the problem is waiting too long to read the next book in the series. I lose track of what the key goal is in this story. I'm glad that she finally let one of the three boys that love her go though. It's difficult to not like all the guys that are interested in her, but she needed to let someone off the hook. So Dex has finally been set free. The other two, Fitz and Keefe, are both awesome and it's difficult to decide between them. I have a tendency to favor Keefe, but to be fair, the focus was on him for this book. Fitz might take a bigger role in Book 7 and then I will switch back to him.

Anyway, Sophie's human parents are taken and being held prisoners by the Neverseen at a place called Nightfall. Keefe's mother, Lady Gisela, once a part of the Neverseen and now apparently wanting to work with the Black Swan, has knowledge of Nightfall (because she designed it - as well as the monsters that guard it.) No one trusts her (for good reason), but Sophie & gang need her and the information she is willing to give them about Nightfall if they are going to find Sophie's parents. Sophie's human sister, Amy, is brought in to the Elvin world, and she is initially kept safe in Atlantis, the infamous city sunk in the ocean. Then she is moved for her protection because the Neverseen seem to know everything about Sophie and her cohorts. Another element has been introduced into the story: Soporidine. This is a drug that has been developed by the Neverseen that will induce someone to go to "sleep" indefinitely. There is an antidote, but the Neverseen are the only ones that have it. Sophie & friends & the council are definitely behind the eight ball in this installment. 

The gang finds Alden, the betrayer and Fitz & Bianna's sibling, at Nightfall. He is severely injured and in a deep sleep caused by Soporidine. They take him back with them. They are trying to develop an antidote to the Soporidine, which they will need for him to wake up and give them information about the Neverseen and where they are holding Sophie's human parents. The only thing they find at Nightfall is Alden. Then they find out that the original Nightfall is actually in Atlantis.

The elves manage to team up with King Dimitar of the ogres. He is initially hesitant, since they are known enemies, but he comes around. He sends his daughter, Princess Ro, to be Keefe's bodyguard after he is nearly mortally wounded. She is a wonderful addition to the team!

This is a good vs. evil story and it's taking some time for good to conquer evil!

Wendy's Rating: ****

Filthy Rich The Jeffrey Epstein Story by James Patterson, John Connolly with Tim Malloy

I listened to this on audiobook. I love finding out the true story, based on actual interviews, court proceedings and documentation of an investigation. This book starts in 2004-2005, when Jeffrey Epstein is using high schoolers to recruit other high schoolers to go to his home to give him a massage. He concentrates on young girls, as young as 14 years old, who are poor and vulnerable. He offers them $200 a massage; but he will give them more money if they are willing to do other things. These "massages" are mostly done with Epstein being naked and him encouraging the girls to take off their clothes. He masturbates, uses vibrators and massagers, and touches them with his hands. He does have intercourse with some - and even rapes one of his accusers. He sex-trafficked Virginia Giuffre, and I'm sure she wasn't the only one. He only seeks/wants girls that are thin and attractive. There are beautiful women who assist him with this process. Ghislaine Maxwell, the most well-known thanks to her friendship with ex-Prince Andrew and her prison sentence for sex trafficking for Epstein, is only one woman who helps Epstein lure hundreds of minor girls to his home.

The book then explores Epstein's childhood, family life, journey to wealth through questionable means, high intelligence, connections to people in high places, etc. It's interesting that it's so difficult to track how he actually became a multi-millionaire. He was an expert at manipulating numbers and people. What's most disturbing is the number of people who still considered him a friend or had business dealings with him after his first arrest and conviction for procuring a girl for prostitution of a person under 18. (Which was a despicable plea deal.) What's most disgusting (and there are quite a lot of things to find disgusting about this story) is the attempt to set up Epstein's accusers as extortionists. One of the most difficult things to discover in the book (other than the actual sexual actions of Epstein with young, vulnerable minors), is Alan Dershowitz, the American lawyer and Harvard Law professor, who denied all involvement with Epstein and his sexual activities with minor children. Yet Virginia Giuffre accused him of participating in his own sexual activities with her. I believe Virginia. Dershowitz was on the "dream team" defending OJ Simpson, was a member of Harvey Weinstein's defense team (another scumbag), defended Trump in his impeachment trial, and helped negotiate the non-prosecution agreement on Epstein's behalf. I really despise him.

This investigation is (further) proof that there is no justice if enough money is involved. It was a difficult read in that respect, but I do like to know more of the "truth" about a situation than what we read/hear in the media. This is a man who preyed on the vulnerable. I actually don't care if he committed suicide in prison or was murdered. It's one less criminal that the tax payers have to support. Good riddance.

Wendy's Rating: ****