The House of My Mother by Shari Franke

Family vlogging gone wrong. Vlogging is such an interesting way of making money. Sometimes a lot of money. The problem is, it often seems to go wrong in so many ways, especially if you start counting on it for the financial resources it brings you. The pressure to keep providing content; the pressure on the children who are expected to "perform"; the warped sense of what is actually real and what's a performance for the camera. It doesn't have to be that way. I watch vloggers that still work and post videos in their free time for fun. If people can keep it light and treat it as a side gig, all the more power to them. This is not one of those cases. Children should never be expected to live their life on camera, especially when they are too young to give consent. 

Ruby Franke made national news when she was arrested for aggravated child abuse in 2023. Although she was heavily influenced by her relationship with life coach Jodi Hildebrandt, who developed a tyrannical & sadist program called ConneXions which Ruby followed, Ruby wasn't a warm & cozy mother from the start. This book is written by Shari Franke, Ruby's oldest child. Everytime I read another memoir, I am so eternally grateful for my parents and my upbringing. Children are so incredibly vulnerable to their parents. In this case, Ruby's husband Kevin, was also vulnerable to Ruby & Jodi's extreme tactics - all because he really loved Ruby. It's so terribly sad that a person (child or adult) can get so caught up in something that is drilled into them. It's easier to brainwash a person than I ever thought possible if love/family is involved. Then, add in the constraints of religious beliefs (in this case The Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter-Day Saints) and a person doesn't have a prayer. No pun intended.

Shari was repeatedly, consistently, and continually emotionally abused by her mother & Jodi. And she was one of the "lucky ones" in the family. Her brother (second oldest) was sent away a couple of times and treated like a juvenile delinquent. He was separated from his family as a young teen. The four younger children were forced to stay with Ruby & Jodi, pretty much in hiding after they were pulled out of school. It's incredible that the authorities did not recognize what was going on in this household, despite the situation being reported again and again. There must be better safeguards in place! These poor children. Shari's sense of self-worth and self-regard was minimal at best. She was so mired in Ruby's abuse that she couldn't even recognize it when she became the prey for a married, middle-aged man for years.

I'm definitely not convinced that Shari, her father Kevin, or Shari's siblings are out of the woods yet. They are a work in progress and I see lots of therapy in their futures if they truly want to heal. The good news is that Ruby & Jodi are behind bars where they belong. One thing I was happy that Shari included in her narrative is the mental health description of Narcissism. There is a really important distinction between someone being self-centered and selfish vs. diagnosed Narcissism. Ruby is a Narcissist.

Wendy's Rating: ****