Ultimately, this is a book about childhood trauma. Charles Spencer, whose mother left home for another man, was sent to an exclusive boarding school called Maidwell Hall when he was eight years old. This was a standard thing for the British wealthy to do at the time (and to some extent still today I would guess.) No one could imagine not doing what their peers were doing - and what their brothers, fathers, grandfathers did before them. The British are certainly known for their "stiff upper lip" but it's truly a tragedy that this generation (and those before) sent their very young children off to be raised by a headmaster and teachers in a "sterile" dorm-style environment. Children need a nurturing environment where they feel safe and secure. They were sent to boarding schools so they could learn to be men who were leaders. Of course this meant they learned that to show emotion was a sign of weakness; that physical abuse made them tougher; that sexual abuse was a form of education; that those in charge have all the power.
It's amazing that more children didn't report the physical and sexual abuse to their parents. Charles, who interviewed many men who attended Maidwell the same years he had and before, discovered that even though some of the boys reported the abuse, the headmaster Porch used humor to redirect parents to another way of thinking about it. He had a way with words, twisting the truth into a message that the parents wanted to believe. Meanwhile he was a sadistic man who found numerous reasons to "punish" the boys - mostly this involved hitting their bottoms (some times bare bottoms) with his hand (including fondling) or an instrument causing significant pain. Boys went home with blood in the underpants - and yet their mothers didn't question this???? Some of these men still have the physical scars today. All of them carry emotional scars.
Charles spent five years (aged 8-13) at Maidwell. This experience has affected his entire life and impacted his relationships negatively. He finally sought therapy and this brought him back to his trauma experience at Maidwell, which seemed to be the origin of his relationship issues. No one is immune from childhood abuse, no matter how much money they have. Obviously we know that Charles' sister, Princess Diana, had her own issues. Hopefully the British Elite are doing things a different way now.
Wendy's Rating: ****
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