The strength and perseverance of some people continually amazes me. I work in a field where on a daily basis I see people struggle with their histories; their deeply dysfunctional families; physical, emotional, sexual abuse; their mental health; low self-esteem and paralyzing self-doubt. I read memoirs like this one and I am astounded by the dedication and sustained effort it takes to escape an abusive family. Not only did Tara Westover escape it, she thrived. How parents like hers could produce both mentally ill, abusive children and incredibly intelligent children who have the strength to escape their abusive families is of great interest to me. Of course it was also so frustrating how long it took for Tara to actually separate herself from her abusive family. No matter how old a "child" is, they want to be loved and accepted by their parents and siblings. Tara had a really difficult time disconnecting from the dysfunction. That was painful reading.
Tara could have easily fallen into the habits of her parents. Her father was controlling and abusive; her mother was eccentric. What's interesting is that her mother's eccentricities brought them fame and wealth. Tara's mother was incapable of protecting her children from the abuse they suffered from their father (mostly emotional abuse which resulted in physical harm) due to her unwavering support of her husband, and yet she was intelligent in her own right. There is a fine line between genius and mental illness. Many geniuses would be diagnosed with a mental illness (if they cared about being diagnosed!), so it's not surprising that Tara's parents had children who were mentally ill and some who were intelligent enough to separate themselves from it.
This wasn't always an easy read - due to my internal screaming at Tara to STOP going back to her family home and her abusive father and brother - but it was also a powerful read. There ARE people who can break the cycle of abuse.
Wendy's Rating: *****
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