When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

This book is Paul Kalanithi's memoir.  It's a tragedy that someone so brilliant, a neurosurgeon who had an avid interest in neuroscience and also wanted to be writer, could die from cancer at such a young age. I keep thinking about all of the lives he could have saved had he lived and how much research on the brain he could have accomplished. Who knows what discoveries he could have made. Yet, when someone asked him if he ever thought "why me?", his response was "why not me?". 

Specialists, like neurosurgeons, can often be arrogant - and some definitely have minimal "bedside manner" skills. Paul wrote about some of his early arrogance and lack of emotional investment when dealing with patients and their families. What I loved about Paul is how early in his career he understood the importance of taking time with patients and their families to explain the choices and the potential consequences of each choice as they made their decisions about the viability of  brain surgery. Sometimes the negative consequences definitely outweigh the possible positive results, especially depending on what part of the brain is being operated on. He was also able to converge science with faith. He found the central values of Christianity, sacrifice, redemption and forgiveness, compelling. He believed the main message of Jesus is that mercy trumps justice every time. Reading about how he, a man of science, could also return to his faith during his residency certainly made me respect him as a man and a doctor all the more.

Another comment he made really impacted me. He was asked if it would be more painful to die knowing that he would be leaving a child behind, along with his wife, rather than just his wife. Paul's response was that he hoped so. His focus always seemed to be on the positive. Having a child would be so wonderful that it didn't matter to him that it would be more difficult to leave a child behind - a child so young that she will never know her father.

Another thing that was astounding to me is how he went back to surgery when he was in so much pain. He just persevered as long as he possibly could. I would guess the majority of people would not return to work at all, or check things off their "bucket list", but Paul decides to go back to work and finish up his residency. 

I really liked this book - and although Paul didn't get to finish it, I think the book feels complete. It's nice that his wife wrote the epilogue. Their daughter, Cady, should be very proud of her father and all he brought to others during his too-short time on earth.

Wendy's Rating: *****